


Today's Another Day To Find You

by perfect_plan



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Grief, M/M, Moving On, art teacher steve, lots of fluff, mention of character illness and death, single dad bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfect_plan/pseuds/perfect_plan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after the death of his wife, Bucky is doing his best to raise their son and live his life. After thinking that he could never move on and find happiness with someone else, an encounter with art teacher Steve Rogers in a department store might just change his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today's Another Day To Find You

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this short fic that somehow ended up turning into a long fic :P

Bucky grabbed at his hair desperately. This was quite literally the worst thing that could happen to him. The _worst_ thing. He was a terrible parent, the worst parent ever. He looked around again frantically. Five seconds. He had glanced away for _five seconds_ and now Clint was gone. Bucky ran down the aisle he had just been in hoping that while he had been looking at the notebooks and pens, Clint had just wandered off back to the action figures to choose what he had wanted to spend his ten dollars on, the note clutched tightly in his little hand.

He wasn't there. Bucky started to panic.

"Clint?" he called out and ran from aisle to aisle, scanning each section of the department store as he did.

His mind started to conjure up all kinds of scenarios about what could have happened: Clint had wandered outside and got hit by a car, someone had taken his son, he'd never see him again. Each thought was more terrifying than the last. He swallowed down a sob and tried to remain calm. Clint was six years-old. He couldn't have gone too far. Bucky started to jog back to the stationery aisle again, hoping that Clint was just playing a very-not-appreciated-right-now game of hide and seek.

He searched for another fifteen minutes, each passing moment becoming a hot tight grip on his chest before he saw the information desk and decided that running around like an idiot wasn't helping any.

"Excuse me," he said, slightly out of breath and the woman behind the desk looked up at him with a smile.

"Can I help you, sir?"

Bucky nodded and swallowed hard. "Um, I can't find my son. He was right next to me and then he was gone. I've looked all over and I can't find him..."

The woman stood up and her face softened. "Sir, it's alright. Just take a breath and tell me what your son looks like and I can put a call out to all of the security personnel. Chances are he's still somewhere in the store." Her easy manner and genuine concern eased him slightly.

"His name is Clint Barnes, he's six years-old. He has light brown hair and green eyes and he was...he's wearing a purple zip-up hoodie and an Adventure Time t-shirt with blue jeans and purple sneakers. He's carrying an Adventure Time backpack too. "

The woman quickly wrote everything down and then picked up a walkie-talkie. "I'll put the call out now, okay?"

Bucky nodded appreciatively and rubbed his hands together, his head swimming as she relayed the information he had just given her over the radio. Nothing felt worse than this, not knowing where Clint was. He was never far out of Bucky's sight. Since Natasha died, Bucky had done his best to take care of Clint and he generally thought he was doing an okay job. It was hard, the hardest thing he'd ever had to do but he loved Clint more than anything. He was a great kid, smart and creative and funny as hell and Bucky's heart twisted every time he looked at him, seeing the glimpses of Natasha that were there - her eyes, the way Clint would scrutinise everything the way she used to - and knowing that even though she was gone, part of her lived on in their son. He couldn't lose Clint too, he just couldn't -

"Sir?"

Bucky snapped out of his thoughts, a lump in his throat. "Yes?"

The woman at the desk was smiling. "Your little boy is okay - someone took him to the security office. An announcement went out over the shop speaker system about ten minutes ago but I can see how you may not have heard it."

The relief in Bucky almost made him cry. "Thank fu - I mean, thank you. I'm sorry." He ran his hands through his hair with relief.

"No problem," the woman said with a grin. "The security desk is just down there, keep going until you're out of Homewares and it's over by the manager's office. You can't miss it."

"Thank you so much," Bucky said again and he immediately started off, not wanting to feel completely at ease until he could see Clint.

Bucky walked briskly up to the heavy-set security guard sat at the small counter. "Um, my son was brought here? Clint Barnes."

The security guy nodded. "Do you mind if I see some ID, sir? It's just procedure."

Bucky fumbled in his back pocket for his wallet. "Sure. Here, this is my driver's licence and...this is a photo of him." The photo had been taken a month ago at his friend Danny's birthday party. Clint had found it all kinds of hilarious to shove a piece of cake into Bucky's face and Danny's mom had taken a picture and given him a couple of copies.

The security guy huffed out a laugh. "Cute kid." He pointed to a small office. "He's just through there."

"Thanks," Bucky said and put his wallet back in his jeans pocket. He pushed through the door to the office and was happier than he'd ever been: Clint was sat at the table in the middle of the room, laughing his head off as he drew on a sheet of paper. A slender blond guy with glasses was drawing with him and laughing too.

"Daddy!" Clint cried out when he saw him. He scrambled down off of his chair and came running over.

Bucky scooped him up and hugged him hard, kissing him on the head. "Hey buddy. Where'd you go running off to? I was so worried." Bucky suddenly felt like himself again; being apart from Clint for too long always made him feel like something had been gouged out of his chest.

Clint's eyes were wide and Bucky could see smudges on his (dirty) cheeks from where he'd been crying. "I went to see the dinosaur toys again and then I couldn't find you and I started to cry. But then Steve said hello and had the same t-shirt as me and he held my hand and we walked here and we were drawing dinosaurs and poop." He pointed excitedly over to the man he'd been sitting with.

Bucky glanced up and the blond guy was standing up at the table expectantly. He held up a hand with a little smile. "Hi. Sorry, I'm Steve. I found Clint over by the DVDs. He was in a bit of a state so I talked to him a little and wanted to help. We tried looking for you but then I thought it was better to just come here. I didn't want to leave him on his own so I waited."

He was short, shorter than Bucky, with big blue eyes. He looked a little worried about the whole situation, as though he thought that Bucky would be angry, but he seemed very nice and Clint obviously liked him. Bucky was a pretty good judge of character; in fact, he had become even more so since becoming a parent and he got nothing but good vibes from Steve.

Bucky shifted Clint to his left hip and held out his hand; the last thing he wanted to do was to make the guy feel bad about doing a good deed. "Dude, thank you so much. I was frantic."

Steve looked relieved and shook back. His grip was firm. "No problem."

Clint squirmed in Bucky's arms. "Look at his t-shirt, Daddy. It's the same as mine!" he proclaimed proudly.

Steve laughed softly and unzipped his blue hoodie. He was indeed wearing the exact same Jake The Dog tee that Clint had on, just in an adult size. "Turns out we have very common interests."

"Sing the Bacon Pancake song again," Clint said to Steve, smiling gleefully.

Bucky laughed. "Okay, calm down. Come and show me what you've been drawing." He set Clint down and he immediately ran over to the table and tried to climb back up into his chair.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Steve said.

"My daddy's name is James Buchanan Barnes but everyone calls him Bucky," Clint chirped from the table. "It's a very silly name but he likes it better than James."

Bucky chuffed with embarrassment. Trust Clint to say the first thing that came into his head. "There you go. I'm Bucky, which is apparently a very silly name."

Steve laughed and it was deep and warm. "I've heard sillier."

Bucky folded his arms. "Look, thanks again."

Steve shook his head. "It was really no problem. I work with kids and Clint is great; it's been the best part of my day."

"Steve likes Gumball too!" Clint called.

Bucky grinned. "A man who likes all the classics. Anais is my favourite character."

Steve chuckled. "Richard is mine. I watch way too many cartoons and I don't have any kids of my own to use as an excuse."

"I never needed an excuse to watch cartoons. Having a kid just means I get to watch more."

"Daddy, look at my drawing," Clint waved a sheet of paper in the air.

Bucky walked over and crouched down next to him, looking at the pieces of paper on the table. "Wow, you weren't kidding. That's a lot of poop."

Clint giggled. "Steve drawed the dinosaurs and then I made the poop. See?" The dinosaur drawings were actually pretty good. Clint had really gone to town with the brown crayon all over them.

Bucky laughed and gave Clint a kiss on the cheek. "Great work, pal." He held up a page with a scribbled-over Stegosaurus and grinned at Steve. "These are awesome."

Steve smiled and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Thanks. Clint seemed to get a kick out of them."

"Steve knows a lot of dinosaurs and he makes funny voices," Clint said and Steve grinned at him.

"Uh-oh," Bucky said, giving Steve an impressed nod. "Dinosaurs AND funny voices? Looks like you've made a friend for life."

Steve laughed. "I can bake a mean cookie, too."

"Daddy, can I keep these?"

"I think you need to ask Steve, Clint. You both worked on them."

Clint looked up at Steve with big eyes. "Steve, can I keep these please?"

"Of course you can," Steve said with a pleased smile.

Clint squealed in delight and started to gather the sheets of paper. "Thank you!"

Bucky ruffled Clint's hair. "Good boy."

Steve gathered up his bag and indicated to the door. "I guess I'll be heading off. It was nice to meet you. I'm glad everything worked out okay."

"Hey, would you like to join us for lunch? As a thank you?" Bucky asked. "It's the least I can do. We were only going to go to Applebee's. I mean, if you don't have any plans. I just...I really appreciate this, man. You have no idea."

Steve hesitated for a moment and then smiled again. "Yeah, sure. Why not. Thanks."

"Daddy, can I still buy my toy?" Clint held out his hand and his ten dollar bill was still scrunched up in his fist. "I know what I want."

"Okay and then we're going to get some lunch with Steve," Bucky rolled his eyes apologetically.

"What are you buying, Clint?" Steve asked.

"I want a My Little Pony. Can I get one, Daddy?"

Bucky patted Clint on the back and led them out of the security office. "Sure thing, buddy. If you want one." Bucky had long since resigned himself into letting Clint choose his own toys without question. It made life a lot easier and he didn't care what Clint wanted to play with, as long as he was happy.

"Ooh, good choice," Steve said. "Do you know which one you want?" He didn't put on that talking-down-to-kids voice that a lot of adults did.

Clint nodded. "Applejack. Because I like apples," he said and Steve laughed again.

Bucky sighed wistfully. "I wish all of my life decisions could be made as easily as that."

***

They went to Applebee's and got a table, Clint proudly babbling about his new toy and how he had an Applejack at Applebee's which he thought was hilarious. Steve laughed along with him and Bucky felt a swell of pride; Clint was well-liked by his kindergarten friends and their parents and seeing how much Steve seemed to like him made him feel like he was doing something right by his son.

He ordered Clint a corn dog, juice and mozzarella sticks (he tried his best not to feed Clint too much junk but it had been a stressful morning). Bucky ordered the lime chicken and Steve ordered a caesar salad.

Clint had finally calmed down a little and pulled his coloring book and crayons out of his backpack, content to work quietly, humming nonsensically to himself.

"Thanks again for this," Steve said.

Bucky took a swig of his diet coke and reached out to stop one of Clint's crayons from rolling off of the table. "My pleasure. I hadn't quite planned on my day turning into some kind of manhunt but it all worked out."

"Yeah, I remember getting lost in a department store when I was younger and how scared I was. I felt for this little guy as soon as I saw him. I was a little worried about approaching him at first. I mean, stranger danger and all that. Especially these days."

Bucky nodded. "I know what you mean. But there are enough good people in the world too." He reached over and smoothed down Clint's cowlick. "You mentioned earlier that you work with kids?"

Steve hummed and played with his napkin. "Yeah, I run a lot of art workshops in local elementary schools. Painting, drawing comics, that kind of thing. I do some work in high schools too as well as private tutoring. Just simple one-on-one drawing lessons, nothing major."

"Wow, that sounds pretty cool. Certainly explains the dinosaurs."

Steve chuckled and swept his bangs out of his eyes. "With the younger kid's classes there are certain things I cannot go wrong with drawing: Dinosaurs, robots, unicorns. It's great though; tiring but never dull."

Bucky laughed. "You just summed up having a kid in a nutshell. Tiring but never dull."

"So, what do you do?" Steve asked.

"I'm a copywriter. I do a lot of stuff for local radio - you know like jingles and ads? But I do some fact checking for various clients too, proofreading, some editing."

Steve raised his eyebrows. "Sounds really interesting."

Bucky snorted. "95% of the time it's boring as hell - uh, I mean _heck_." He darted his eyes to Clint to see if he had heard daddy say a bad word (he loved chiding Bucky for "making swears") but he was still happily absorbed in coloring everything in his activity book brown. "The really cool jobs are few and far between." Bucky sighed. "I shouldn't complain. I get to work from home a lot over the summer so I can take care of Clint and only have to go into the office a couple of days a week. He'll be starting first grade in the fall so I'm making the most of being able to spend as much time with him as I can."

Steve smiled. "Sounds like a good plan. My work is winding down a little now. I still do some summer school work but it's all mainly private art lessons until September."

Their food arrived and they chatted about little things; Clint gave a detailed commentary on why he liked cheese so much and how dogs were sometimes orange. Steve listened to him intently and nodded along as if what Clint was saying was the most important thing in the world. Bucky couldn't help but smile as he watched them. Steve seemed to be a natural with kids.

Bucky paid the check when they were done and Steve helped Clint to pack up his things. They all walked out to the parking lot and Bucky held Clint's hand so he wouldn't run off.

"Can I give you a ride anywhere?" Bucky asked.

"I drove here but thanks," Steve said with an appreciative grin. He crouched down so he was level with Clint. "I forgot to tell you something," he said, face deadly serious.

Clint's eyes were wide. "What?"

Steve started to sing. "Bacon Pancakes, making Bacon Pancakes, take some bacon and I'll put it in a pancake..."

Clint started to giggle and he looked up at Bucky with glee. "He's silly."

Bucky couldn't help but laugh himself; seeing Clint happy always made _him_ happy. "Hey, do you have a card or anything? It might be nice for Clint to have some real art lessons. I mean, I do creative stuff with him but I think he'd get a lot out of it."

Steve stood up and dug about in his bag. "Sure! Here," he handed Bucky a business card. "I'm fully qualified and I can provide references before we commit to anything. My rates aren't too steep."

Bucky held out his hand and they shook again. "It was great to meet you, Steve. Hopefully we'll see you again soon."

Steve held out his hand to Clint. "It was a pleasure to meet you, sir."

Clint laughed uproariously at being called "sir" and shook Steve's hand.

They both waved as Steve walked away towards his car and Clint tugged on Bucky's hand.

"Daddy, can Steve come over and play tomorrow?"

Bucky hoisted him up into his arms and headed off towards their own car. "Maybe not tomorrow, but we'll see if he can come and do some drawing with you some time. Would you like that?"

"Yes!" Clint cried.

Bucky listened as he talked about Steve all the way home in the car and asked if he could maybe get some glasses too because it might help him draw better dinosaurs.

***

It was a couple of days later that Bucky decided to give Steve a call. It was after lunch and Clint was watching The Lego Movie again in the living room (he knew it almost line for line) so Bucky wandered through into his study. He had put Steve's card next to his laptop and dialled the number into his cell. Steve picked up after the third ring.

"Steve Rogers."

"Hi Steve, it's Bucky Barnes. Clint's dad."

"Bucky, hi!" Steve sounded pleased to hear from him. "How are you?"

"Good thanks. I was hoping we could set up an art lesson or two? Clint has _not_ stopped talking about you."

Steve laughed. "Sure, that would be great. Hold on, let me just get my planner and see what days I have free." He sounded like he was walking.

"Oh, Clint has also not stopped singing that damn bacon pancake song from Adventure Time and it's driving me insane so, you know, thanks for that."

"Sorry about that," Steve said but Bucky could hear the smile in his voice. "It made him laugh so I kept singing it. He really is a great little guy - you and your wife should be proud."

Bucky froze for a split-second. He wasn't entirely sure what to say; Steve didn't know that Natasha had died four years ago and why would he? Bucky still wore his wedding ring. As far as Steve knows, Bucky was just out with his son while his wife was at home or at work. Clint obviously hadn't said anything to him; he was too young to remember much about Natasha but he still liked to talk about her.

Bucky made himself answer, not wanting to make things awkward over the phone. "Yeah, he's a good kid," was all he could say.

If Steve noticed anything strange in Bucky's reply, he didn't say anything. "Okay, I have Tuesdays and Thursdays free pretty much all summer so I'm happy to work around you guys."

Bucky grabbed a piece of paper. "Is it cool to book you for both? I'm not working those days and the more I can do to keep Clint busy and stimulated the better. Maybe we could do Tuesday and Thursday afternoons?"

"Works for me. With kids Clint's age, I usually go for a two-hour slot because they can either get bored or tired after too long but if he's doing alright we could just extend the sessions and see how we go?"

"That sounds great. Um, do we come to you or...?"

"No, I can come to you. It's better if Clint's in a familiar setting. Why don't we say one-thirty on Tuesday and you can decide for sure if it's something that Clint would actually benefit from."

But Bucky had already made up his mind and knew he would be booking Steve for more lessons regardless. "That sounds great. Thanks Steve."

They talked for a few more minutes about Steve's rates (Bucky was surprised that he didn't charge more than he did) and Steve told him he would email him his references. Bucky gave him their address and then they said good-bye.

Bucky walked back through into the living room where Clint was playing with Benny's spaceship while Benny flew around on-screen in the movie. He looked up and smiled when Bucky sat on the couch.

"Spaceship!" he cried out and flew the toy over to Bucky.

Bucky chuckled. "So, guess who I was just talking to?"

Clint stood by Bucky and landed the spaceship on his lap. "Gramma and Pappy?"

"Nope."

Clint frowned in concentration. "Kate?"

"Nuh-uh."

Clint looked confused. "Then who?" As far as he was concerned, his grandparents and his babysitter were the only people he felt were important enough to be talked about.

Bucky put the Lego spaceship to one side and grabbed Clint's hands, making him dance. "Bacon pancakes, making bacon pancakes..."

Clint's face lit up. "Steve?"

Bucky grinned. "Yep. He's going to come over on Tuesday and do some drawing with you."

Clint clapped his hands and cheered and threw himself onto Bucky, winding him slightly. "Oof! You're getting too big to do that."

"Can we draw dinosaurs and poop again?" Clint arranged himself on Bucky's lap and then pulled the Lego spaceship onto his own.

Bucky tucked Clint's head under his chin and breathed in. He never got fed up of how Clint smelled - like talcum powder and bubblegum shampoo. "I'm sure you can but I think Steve has a whole lot of other fun things for you to do too."

"When is Tuesday? Is it soon?"

"It's three days away," Bucky said.

Clint gasped in disbelief. "But that's so long!"

Bucky laughed. "It's not _too_ long, buddy."

"Is Steve excited?" Clint asked and Bucky could feel him begin to get heavy, the way he did when he started to get tired. Nap-time soon.

"I think he is."

Clint yawned. "Steve has yellow hair."

"He sure does," Bucky said.

When Clint nodded off, Bucky couldn't quite bring himself to move. Clint was so warm and Bucky was glad that he was still at the stage where he wanted to cuddle - in a few years time, it would be lame to give his old man a hug. Bucky felt tears sting his eyes. Time was moving so quickly; it didn't feel like it had been four years since Nat's death and he wished more than anything that she could see Clint now. He let out a shuddery breath; he had slowly come to terms with losing his wife and raising their son alone and he had reached the stage where it didn't hurt so much to talk about her but he missed her like hell. Every single day. He often wondered if he could ever fall in love with anyone again and he didn't think he could and the thought made him feel so alone.

But he had Clint and he was the world to Bucky. For now, that was all that mattered to him.

***

He blew off work for the rest of the day and when Clint woke up from his nap, they played Candy Land for an hour. Clint insisted on swapping out the game pieces for Lego figures. Afterwards, Bucky made a start on dinner (chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes) and listened happily as Clint sat at the kitchen table and told him terrible jokes that made no sense but had Bucky laughing until his eyes watered anyway. He loved six year-old logic. They ate dinner together and then it was bath time (with plastic dinosaurs vs. sharks). Once Clint was in his panda pyjamas and had drunk his milk and eaten his crackers, they snuggled together in Clint's tiny bed, Bucky's legs dangling over the end. He had five picture books on his lap.

"What story do you want tonight?" he asked Clint, hoping that he wasn't going to say what he was inevitably going to say.

"I want the pizza dog story."

Bucky groaned and held up the books. "Not again! Aren't you sick of that story yet? Don't you want something else? I'm A Shark? The Day The Crayons Quit?"

Clint smooshed his face into Bucky's neck. "Noooooo, I want pizza dog!"

Bucky rued the day he'd ever made up the pizza dog thing; they had been driving to the airport on a trip to see his parents and Clint had wanted a story. So Bucky had just made some shit up on the spot about a dog who liked pizza and started his own pizza restaurant for dogs with all kinds of gross pizza toppings. Clint had gone crazy for the story and Bucky had been telling it for almost every bedtime since. He changed the toppings on the pizza with each re-telling which is probably why Clint liked it so much.

Bucky gave in and Clint curled into his side as he started. "Once upon a time, in a very stinky city, there was a very hungry dog..."

He talked until he knew Clint was sleeping and then carefully slipped out of his bed. Once Clint was asleep he rarely woke up for anything but Bucky was always gentle as he tucked him in.

He kissed Clint's forehead and softly stroked his sandy hair. "Goodnight sweetheart. Love you."

Bucky switched on Clint's nightlight and left his door open a little before padding down the hall to his own room. He changed into his bed t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants and went downstairs to watch Netflix for an hour or so. After twenty minutes of trying to get into Serpico, he went over to the small bureau next to the TV. He picked up the framed photograph that was there and took it back to the couch.

Nat and Bucky were laughing in the picture with Clint between them, not quite a year old. It had been taken not long before Nat's diagnosis and Bucky couldn't hold back, letting out the tears that had been threatening to come ever since his phone call with Steve earlier. He didn't cry like this very often and he knew better than to hold it in. He hugged the picture to him and sobbed until he was exhausted.

***

Clint was excited over the next couple of days, talking about Steve constantly in-between his usual diatribe of six year-old gibberish: What are we going to draw when Steve comes over, does Steve like hats, do jellyfish taste like the jelly I have on my bread, can I play Legos with Steve, why are they called jellyfish if they don't taste like jelly, can Steve stay for dinner, why can some birds fly and other birds can't, does Steve like pizza, would he like the pizza dog story, can Steve draw robots, why do you have blue eyes and I have green eyes. Bucky answered each question several times with the level of patience only a parent can possess. Kate babysat for him on Monday when Bucky had to work in the office and said he wasn't an ounce of trouble. Clint was happy and funny and did everything Bucky asked him to that evening without a pout or a tantrum.

So it only stood to reason that the day Steve was due to turn up, Clint decided to be a little shit. He woke up grumpy and Bucky's heart sank because he instantly knew it was going to be one of _those mornings_. Clint didn't want Cheerios for breakfast, he wanted Fruit Loops.

"We haven't got any Fruit Loops, Clint. It's either Cheerios or oatmeal."

Clint screwed his mouth up. "I don't want Cheerios."

Bucky sipped his coffee. "Then have some oatmeal."

"Don't want oatmeal!"

"Well, there isn't any other cereal so you'll have to have toast."

Clint's brow furrowed and he pouted even more. "I don't _want_ toast."

And that's how it went until Bucky plopped a bowl of Cheerios in front of Clint and he started to cry and scream. Bucky managed to get him to eat three spoonfuls before Clint deliberately tipped the bowl over, spilling milk and Cheerios all over the table.

"Okay, time-out," Bucky said through gritted teeth and carried Clint over to the stairs. "Six minutes on the naughty step."

Clint started to cry even harder. "No!"

Bucky crouched down and looked at Clint sternly. "You are going to sit here for six minutes because you made a mess. Do you understand?"

"NO!" Clint shouted and darted away before Bucky could do anything. He rubbed his forehead; it would be so easy just to let Clint have his own way and throw a hissy fit but Bucky hadn't sat through all of those episodes of Supernanny for nothing. He got up and found Clint in the living room, clutching his Lego spaceship and bawling. Bucky took the ship from him and led him back to the stairs.

"Clint, you have to sit on the naughty step. If you don't do as you're told, I'm going to have to call Steve and tell him that he can't come over and draw with you."

Clint's face crumpled but he got the message loud and clear. "You're so mean! I hope you get eaten by a skeleton!"

Bucky just got up and went back to the kitchen to clean up the carnage and set the alarm on his phone for six minutes. He could hear Clint whimpering from the hallway and while it broke his heart every time, he had to hold his ground and be able to use discipline. Clint wasn't like this very often but when he was, he was a nightmare. These were some of the toughest times for Bucky, having to act like the bad guy but he knew it couldn't be fun and games all the time. His alarm went off and he went back to the stairs. Clint eyed him with his bottom lip stuck out and snot running down his face.

"You know you can't make a mess just because we don't have Fruit Loops."

Clint nodded solemnly.

"Can I get a hug?"

Clint wrapped his arms around Bucky's neck and Bucky hugged him back. "Okay, let's go and get dressed and then you can watch Gumball."

***

After lunch, Bucky started to tidy up a little, ready for Steve to turn up. Clint had remained in a passive sulk for the rest of the morning and Bucky hoped that he wasn't working up towards another tantrum. He loaded up the dishwasher and checked the time; Steve would be here in 30 minutes. Bucky leaned against the sink, already drained of energy and just took a moment to let his mind go blank. It helped when he did this on bad days, kind of like a tiny mental recharge. It wasn't much but as he zoned out and stared into the backyard, he felt a little better. He took a deep breath and went to check that Clint hadn't made too much of a mess in the living room.

Clint had decided to take off his pants and underwear and was sat in front of the TV with his My Little Pony and one of his Skylanders.

"Clint, Steve will be here soon. You need to put your pants back on."

Clint turned around and he had that defiant pout on his face again. "But I don't want to wear pants."

Bucky's patience was hanging on by a thread. "I don't care if you don't _want_ to wear them. You _have_ to wear them." He picked up the underwear and the little green cargo pants and started towards Clint who immediately jumped up and ran over to the armchair, using it as a shield.

"No pants!"

Bucky dropped his voice into his I'm-done-messing-around tone. "Clint..."

"NO PANTS!" Clint screamed and went running off into the kitchen.

Bucky groaned and jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes. A very nice headache was starting to form right in the middle of his forehead. He threw Clint's pants onto the couch. "You know what, fine. Just...fine." He stalked off to his study where he remained in a very nice sulk of his own for a while.

***

The doorbell chimed at one-thirty on the dot and Bucky went to answer. When he opened the door some of his earlier irritation melted away. Steve had a big smile on his face and was carrying an art folder and a bag. Bucky smiled back; another adult was here and for a little while he could perhaps not have to worry that he really had no idea what he was doing and maybe everything would be okay.

"Hi," Steve said brightly. "I hope it's alright that I parked on your driveway." He indicated behind him.

Bucky stepped aside to let Steve in. "Hi, good to see you. Driveway is perfect. Did you have to come far? I kind of forgot to ask when we set this up."

Steve set down his things and turned to Bucky, hands in his pockets. "Weirdly, I only live a few blocks away. I actually could have walked but I had another appointment before this so I was driving anyway." He watched as Bucky rubbed his eye and raked a hand through his short brown hair - something he always did when he was particularly exhausted from Clint-related misadventures. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Bucky realized what he'd been doing and gave a tired smile. "Yeah, just...it's been _a morning_. With Clint."

"Ah," Steve said with a sympathetic look. "They can be terrors."

Bucky groaned and rubbed his face. "Yeah, you said it. Clint? Steve's here," he called.

A moment later Clint came barrelling out of the kitchen to meet Steve and thankfully he was wearing pants. They were on back-to-front but it was a start. "Steve!" he shrieked gleefully.

Steve crouched down and held out his hand. "Hey Clint. It's good to see you again."

Clint giggled and shook it, looking up at Bucky with delight and shyly grabbing onto his leg. Bucky gently rested a hand on Clint's head, this morning's drama already starting to fade.

"Um, I guess the kitchen will be the best place for you guys? I can leave you to it and go and work."

Steve nodded and picked up his stuff. "Is it okay to show you what I have planned? I like keeping parents in the loop."

"Sure! I'd love to see what you'll be doing." He led Steve through into the kitchen with Clint trotting happily behind them.

"Wow, your house is lovely," Steve said and Bucky wasn't sure why he found Steve's use of the word "lovely" so endearing.

"Thanks. We do our best, don't we pal?" Bucky lifted Clint onto one of the kitchen chairs.

Clint watched with interest as Steve set out several boxes of crayons and pencils on the table and then pulled out a bundle of paper from his portfolio. He gasped at the big box of Crayolas but sat patiently and didn't try to grab them.

Steve leaned close to Bucky and showed him several worksheets. "So I usually just start with some copying exercises. See, on this sheet, Clint can draw around the light lines on this dinosaur and then try and copy it underneath himself."

"Dinosaurs?" Clint said with a big smile.

Steve grinned down at him. "Maybe some robots too."

Bucky nodded, feeling a lot more relaxed and kind of excited himself. "That looks awesome. But I'm totally happy with whatever you want to do; you're the expert."

Steve laughed softly. "Well, I don't know about that."

"Can I get you something to drink before you start?"

"Oh, I'd love a cup of coffee if that's an option?" Steve said. He sat down at the table and Clint scooted closer to look at the various worksheets spread out and cooed appreciatively. "What do you say, Clint? Ready to draw some awesome things?"

"Yes!" Clint cried and Bucky and Steve both laughed.

Bucky set a cup of coffee and some cream and sugar next to Steve. "If you need me, I'm just in the small room off of the hallway."

Steve smiled at him. "Thanks."

***

For the next couple of hours Bucky worked in his study, the pleasant sounds of Steve and Clint drawing together reaching him from the kitchen. They talked and laughed and it was really...nice, Bucky thought. Having someone else in the house, another presence just _there_ and his chest started to ache a little. He had Clint which meant he was never alone but...he was lonely. He couldn't deny that. Listening to Steve and Clint in the other room just reminded him of what he hadn't had for so long. He threw himself back into his work and tried not to think about it.

Steve's session was coming close to finishing so Bucky stretched and padded through to the kitchen. He stopped and leaned in the doorway, a big smile on his face.

Steve and Clint were huddled together, talking softly and both engrossed in a drawing on a shared sheet of paper. Clint looked absolutely enraptured as he watched Steve draw and Bucky could see why Clint had taken such a liking to him. Steve was kind and patient and just had a quality about him; he couldn't even really put his finger on it. Steve glanced up and smiled when he saw Bucky in the doorway.

"Hey," he said.

Clint looked up. "Daddy, come and see!"

Bucky walked over and Clint held up one of the dinosaur sheets. He had drawn a very wobbly line around what he assumed was Steve's Brontosaurus but had made quite an impressive copy of his own below in green pencil crayon (no poop this time).

"Buddy, this is fantastic!" Bucky said and pulled Clint into a little hug.

Clint leaned across to Steve and whispered something to him. Bucky looked on, amused.

"We worked on something together for you," Steve said and held out the sheet that they both been drawing on. It was a picture of Bucky - a crude stick figure with brown hair, Clint's contribution - surrounded by bacon and pancakes, drawn by Steve.

Steve leaned towards Clint and said quietly, "One, two, three..."

Bucky was about to ask what was going on but the two of them started to sing, "Bacon pancakes, making bacon pancakes...!"

Bucky groaned and picked Clint up, holding him upside down. Clint screamed with delight.

"You guys think you're so funny, don't you?"

Steve laughed. "I put him up to it, I'm sorry."

Bucky put Clint down and gave him a big kiss. "Thanks buddy."

"Do you like it?" Clint said, his face red from laughing.

"I love it. I'm going to put it on the fridge." Bucky put the drawing in the middle of the refrigerator with one of Clint's dinosaur magnets. Clint beamed with pride and Steve watched the two of them, an almost wistful expression on his face.

"Steve's all finished now," Bucky said. "Do you think you'd like him to come back again?"

"Yes please," Clint said and then he walked over to Steve and reached up, pulling him into an awkward but adorable neck hug. "Thank you, Steve."

Steve patted Clint gently on the back. "You're very welcome," he said softly.

Clint tottered off into the living room and Steve started to gather up his art materials, leaving all the pictures that Clint had worked on to one side.

"Well, I think that went well," Steve said with a little grin.

Bucky chuckled. "I'd say so. He loved it. Do you have to head off or can I get you another drink?"

Steve put his portfolio back down. "Only if you're having a coffee or something?"

"Coming right up." Bucky poured two cups and sat with Steve at the kitchen table.

"You're really good with kids," Bucky said. "Honestly, Clint thinks you're awesome."

Steve smiled and looked down at the table. "I always knew I wanted to work with children. They're amazing. I think I remember really well what it was like being a kid and I don't know, I just relate to them I guess."

"I think you might have mentioned before but none of your own?"

"Ah, no," Steve said and took off his glasses and cleaned them on his t-shirt. "I'd love kids but it...hasn't happened yet." He gave Bucky a sad little smile. "Not sure if it ever will to be honest."

"That would be a damn shame," Bucky said and he meant it.

Steve just gave a shrug. "It is what it is." He took a sip of his coffee. "So what does your wife do?"

Shit. Bucky had forgotten about this and there wasn't really any other way to go about it without things being awkward. He bit his lip. "My wife died four years ago, when Clint was two," he said softly.

Steve's face dropped. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I...I saw your wedding ring and just assumed - "

Bucky held up his hands. "No, please don't. It's my fault - I should have said something earlier."

Steve put his head in his hands. "On the phone I even said...shit, I can't apologize enough."

"Steve, please - it's okay. A lot of people see the ring and just..." Bucky looked down at it on his finger. "I still can't quite bring myself to take it off. Kind of dumb really."

"No, it's not," Steve said. "Not in the slightest." His eyes were sad and very blue. "What was her name?"

"Natasha. Clint was too young to really remember much about her but...she loved him a lot." Bucky chuffed out a laugh. "It was Nat who insisted on the name Clint if we had a boy. I fought her _so_ hard on that one."

Steve's mouth quirked up in a tiny smile. "What made you change your mind?"

"Oh, I didn't," Bucky said with a fond sigh. "Nat wouldn't take "Clint's a terrible name for a kid" for an answer. Now I couldn't think of him as anything else."

They sat in silence for a moment. It had been a while since Bucky had spoken so openly about Nat to anyone besides his parents; he usually moved the conversation on as quickly as he could and he was already starting to worry that he'd made Steve feel uncomfortable.

"I think she'd be really proud," Steve said softly before Bucky could say anything. There was a sincerity in his voice that he didn't really hear very often.

Bucky glanced in the direction of the living room where he could hear Clint watching SpongeBob Squarepants and jabbering along happily. "Yeah, she would. He's pretty amazing."

"I've no doubt about that but...I meant you," Steve said. "You're a great father."

Bucky thought back to that morning and all the other times he'd either lost his temper with Clint and shouted at him or had been so tired from working and making dinner and cleaning up that he maybe hadn't always been as attentive as he should have been to his son. "I don't always feel like I am."

"The whole time we were drawing, Clint was talking about you. He adores you, I can see that from a mile away. You're doing something right, believe me."

Bucky looked down at his coffee, unable to trust that he wouldn't start to cry if he met Steve's eyes again. "It's so hard sometimes," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I just feel like I'm fucking everything up."

"Bucky, you're not. You're really not," Steve said and he reached across and gave his shoulder a squeeze. It felt good to be reassured even just for a moment.

Bucky heard Clint coming back through into the kitchen and took a deep breath and quickly wiped his damp eyes. "Hey buddy."

"Can I have some juice, please?"

"You sure can," Bucky said and got up, giving Steve an appreciative look as he did.

"Well, I guess I'll be heading off now," Steve said and stood up himself.

"When are you coming back?" Clint asked, looking a little forlorn.

Bucky gave Clint his juice and put his hands on his hips. "Can we do Thursday at the same time?"

Steve looked pleased. "Sounds great. What do you think, Clint? We could draw some monsters."

Clint ran over to Bucky, splashing juice on the floor and grabbed his leg. "Yes, monsters!"

Bucky laughed and they walked Steve to the front door. "Hey, thank you. Not just for the drawing but for...well, I don't talk about Nat an awful lot. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way."

Steve smiled at him and it was warm and honest. "You didn't. Anytime you want to talk about her or anything, just talk. I mean that."

Bucky smiled back and picked Clint up when he tugged on Bucky's hand. "Say bye to Steve?"

Clint waved. "Bye-bye."

Steve waved back and went to his car. When he had driven away and Bucky closed the front door, he didn't put Clint down, instead he hugged him close and looked him in the eyes. "I love you, buddy. You know that, right? Even if I get angry at you and tell you off, I love you more than anything in the whole wide world. Never forget that."

Clint threw his arms around Bucky's neck and nuzzled him, tired and content. "I love you too, Daddy."

***

Steve came over to draw with Clint over the next couple of weeks and Bucky was aware that he was happier than he had been for a while. Steve seemed to be a calming influence on them both and he looked forward to whenever Steve would be coming over as much as Clint did. His lessons were creative and fun and Clint's imagination went into overdrive. Bucky would leave the two of them in the kitchen while he went and worked in his study, the sound of their laughter and chatter comforting. Steve often stayed for a while after the lessons had ended for a coffee and Bucky got to know him a little better. He had gone to university to become an art therapist for children but the death of his mother and the hospital bills that had come after her illness had meant that he'd had to drop out.

"I didn't really want to go back afterwards," Steve said one afternoon. "I had to get a full-time job anyway but then I just didn't want to do it anymore; it was like everything I had wanted in my life up until that point just...disappeared. My friend Peggy is an elementary school teacher and she bribed me to come in for a couple of days a week and do some art workshops with her third grade class. I was in a not-great place at the time and it kick-started something in me again. The kids were incredible and everything just clicked. Things kind of went from there and I was suddenly in demand by a lot of schools. Teaching wasn't something I really intended to do but I'm glad it happened."

"I'm sorry to hear about your mom," Bucky said. "I can kind of relate to how you felt afterwards. It's like everything that meant something to you, big things and small things are just some kind of blip on the horizon. When...when Nat died, I just didn't want to do anything but I had a pretty big reason to not let myself slip." He cocked a thumb towards the living room where Clint was playing a very loud game with his Legos.

Steve rested his chin on his hand. "How did...what happened? To Natasha?"

"Cervical cancer. It progressed pretty quickly. Less than a year," Bucky said quietly. Steve often asked things about Nat and Bucky was finding it easier to talk about her each time. It still hurt but it was getting better. "We had time to make good memories and we put together a bunch of videos and letters for Clint...for his birthdays. So he doesn't forget her." Bucky chuffed out a small laugh. "I'm sorry - we always seem to end up talking about the heavy stuff."

"No, it's...it's good. I never really talk to anyone about myself like this. Peggy always gets annoyed that I hold everything in but I've just never wanted to really bother anyone with my problems. There are worse things happening in the world; a lot of the kids I work with don't have it great and I just want to try and make life a little better for them, even if it's just for an hour or so."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that what's going on in your own life isn't important. Sounds like you've been through a lot and you can't always put yourself behind everyone else. Holding it in just makes it worse." Bucky snorted. "Wow, listen to me telling you that when I do the exact same thing."

Steve smiled and it was the one that Bucky noticed he used a lot; self-deprecating and a little melancholy. "I think we've both got a lot of shared life experiences. Not necessarily good ones but...you get through it. You never get over it but you get through it."

"Yeah," Bucky said softly. They sat in silence for a few moments but it wasn't uncomfortable.

They chatted for a little while longer about baseball and movies and then Steve had to go. Bucky was always slightly sad when he had to leave but they had got into a routine and it wouldn't be long until Steve would be back again.

"See you Tuesday?" Steve asked when they were stood by the front door.

"Sounds great," Bucky said and Clint came out of the living room. This time, instead of coming over to Bucky and clinging onto his leg like he usually did, he went straight to Steve and held his hand.

"Can you come over and see us every day?"

Steve smiled. "I wish I could, buddy."

Bucky kind of wished he could too.

***

Clint still had a little birthday money left over from Gramma and Pappy and begged Bucky to take him to Toys 'R' Us to spend it. Bucky's parents spoiled Clint rotten - they lived in Nova Scotia so they didn't see them too often, instead Skyping as often as they could which Clint never got bored of. They always bought him way too much for his birthday and Christmas as well as giving him money which Bucky had negotiated to being put in a college account while Clint got around $50 to spend however he wanted. He was six - $50 was a lot of money to him.

Bucky finally relented on Friday afternoon and they drove out to Toys 'R' Us, Clint chattering the whole way about how he was certain that SpongeBob and the Minions were related. They scoured the store for a while and Bucky was pleasantly surprised when Clint picked up a frisbee and announced that he wanted it. It was an orange Aerobie ring and Bucky felt a pang of nostalgia as Clint held it - he had had one himself as a kid.

"This is what you want?" he asked and laughed when Clint nodded enthusiastically. "Okay. Let's go and pay for it and maybe we can get an ice-cream on the way home."

"Wait! I want to buy Steve a present." He held out the $20 he had on him. "Do I have enough left over?"

Bucky crouched down next to him. "Well, the frisbee is $10 so that means you have another $10 to spend."

Clint beamed. "So I can get Steve a present for $10?"

Bucky smiled. "Why do you want to buy Steve a present?"

"Because I like him," Clint said as if Bucky was a complete idiot. "Don't you like him?"

"Of course I do," Bucky said. "I think it's very nice that you want to spend your money on someone else."

"I know what I want to get him," Clint said and took off before Bucky could say anything else, hurrying after him so they didn't have a repeat of the department store incident where they had first met Steve.

Clint made a beeline to the section with the Adventure Time toys and picked up a Jake keychain. "I think he would like this."

"I think he would too," Bucky said.

"I want to get you a present too, Daddy."

Bucky took Clint's hand and they headed over to the cash registers. "Aw, thanks pal, but I don't need a present. You're the best present I could ever have."

Clint giggled. "I can't be a present."

"Yeah, you could. I could wrap you up and put a big bow on top of you."

Clint started to laugh and Bucky was suddenly the best dad in the world for five seconds. Bucky put the frisbee on the counter and lifted Clint up so he could put Steve's gift on there too.

"This is for Steve," he told the cashier, pleased as punch.

The cashier smiled. "Well, isn't he lucky."

They paid and left and stopped off at Baskin-Robbins for an ice-cream, Clint getting most of his down his front. Bucky watched him fussing with the cone and sighed happily to himself. Today had been a good day.

***

On Thursday when Steve came over, Clint was more interested in telling him about his current obsession with his new frisbee than he was about drawing cats and dogs. He and Bucky had played with it in the backyard for the last couple of days and while Clint didn't have the best co-ordination with it, he delighted in watching Bucky throw it and try to snag it on one of the lower branches of the big apple tree.

Steve just listened patiently as Clint talked and Bucky eventually came in to the kitchen when it was clear that Clint was too distracted to pay attention to his art lesson.

"Clint, Steve's here to help you draw - can you forget about the frisbee for an hour, please?"

Clint's face immediately did The Thing where he would either just sink into a quiet sulk or throw a huge tantrum. Steve seemed to sense what was coming and stepped in.

"Tell you what, why don't we go outside for a little while and play with Clint's new frisbee. It's a gorgeous day out so maybe a break would be good."

Clint immediately scrambled out of his chair and ran to put his sneakers on.

Steve turned to Bucky. "Sorry, I just thought that maybe this was better; there's not much point trying to get him into drawing if he's too distracted."

Bucky sighed. "You know, I'm happy that he's been as good as he has with these lessons so far. I'll let him have this one."

Steve gave Bucky a mischievous grin, his eyes bright behind his glasses. "Think you might want to take a break too?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and tried to ignore how much he liked Steve's smile. "Fine, let's go and play frisbee."

They followed Clint into the backyard and he handed Steve his Aerobie. "Throw it to Daddy!" he said, bouncing on the spot.

Steve took the ring and smiled. "Oh wow, I had one of these when I was in Elementary School!"

Bucky backed up as much as he could so they could have some decent throwing room - their yard was big but not huge. "You were an 80s kid, right?" Bucky asked.

Steve nodded. "Born in July 1980. How about you? I got the feeling we're around the same age."

"March 1979. Jeez, I feel old."

Steve grinned. "Thirty-six isn't old. Didn't you know that forty is the new thirty?"

Bucky groaned even louder. "Oh god, I don't want to be forty."

Steve laughed warmly and tossed the frisbee to Bucky. Clint squealed excitedly and ran underneath, holding his arms up.

Bucky waved Clint over. "Okay, I'm going to see if I can do a trick I used to pull against Aunt Becca when we played frisbee as kids. Want to see?"

Clint clapped his hands. "Yes!"

Bucky nodded to Steve. "Ready?"

"Go for it," Steve said, hands on his hips.

Bucky angled his hand and flicked his wrist and he tossed the frisbee high. As Steve watched the ring and stepped forward to catch it, the frisbee angled away from him and started back towards Bucky. Steve lunged to catch it but squawked as it flew out of his reach and plopped down onto the grass a few feet from Bucky and Clint.

"Yes! Still got it," Bucky said smugly as Steve laughed and Clint gasped.

"How did you do that?" Clint asked him, picking up the frisbee and looking at it as though it was some mystical object.

Bucky scooted down next to him. "It's all in the wrist. It might be a bit too heavy for you to try by yourself but let's see if we can do it together." Bucky glanced over to Steve. "Are you okay being the recipient of our experiment for a second?"

Steve spread his hands. "I'm happy to be a guinea pig for as long as you want."

Clint giggled. "Steve's a guinea pig."

Bucky stood Clint in front of him and put his hand over his on the frisbee. "Okay, after three, we're going to throw it. Ready?"

Clint nodded and they both counted. "One...two...three!"

Bucky tried to angle his wrist as they tossed it but it just flew in a straight line towards Steve's groin. He shouted out in panic and turned around at the last minute, the frisbee hitting him in the butt. Clint went into hysterical giggles and Bucky covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" he said between laughs.

Steve was laughing too though and he picked up the frisbee. "Okay, I don't want to be a guinea pig any more."

They played in the backyard for an hour, tossing the frisbee between the three of them and laughing. Bucky was glad they had done this after all; he was enjoying just talking nonsense and watching the Aerobie glide between the them. Clint was getting a little more co-ordinated with his throws and Steve was pink cheeked and took his hoodie off, throwing it onto one of the lawn chairs.

Bucky caught the frisbee and twirled it on his arm. "Who wants a soda?" He didn't let Clint drink fizzy drinks all that often but it had been a while since he'd had one and he felt like giving him a treat.

"Yes please," Clint said and tried to grab the frisbee from Bucky, laughing wildly as Bucky twirled it higher up his arm.

Steve nodded. "That sounds great. Thanks."

"You know what - I think we have some vanilla ice-cream in the freezer. Who wants an ice-cream soda?" Bucky said.

"Yes please," Steve and Clint said enthusiastically at the same time and all three of them laughed again.

"Okay. I'll be right back. Clint, go long."

Clint ran over to Steve and Bucky gently tossed the frisbee to him. He caught it perfectly and Bucky and Steve both cheered together. Clint beamed and Steve looked over to Bucky with a huge smile.

Bucky went back into the house and dug the ice-cream out of the freezer, giddy with joy - this had been a great afternoon, one of those unplanned things that turned out to be fun and relaxing. These kind of things were few and far between for him and Bucky was going to relish it for as long as he could. He was pouring coke into three glasses over by the sink and he glanced up out of the window.

Steve and Clint were throwing the frisbee gently to each other and talking. Clint looked so happy and he adored Steve; Bucky hadn't realized how much he had needed something like this - another adult in his life to look up to. They didn't see his grandparents very often because of the distance and Becca lived in Seattle. There was worry there too though; that Clint would get too attached and maybe get hurt if Steve, for whatever reason, had to stop his lessons. He hoped that wouldn't be the case, not for a while at least.

Bucky watched as Steve encouraged Clint without being patronizing, how he genuinely enjoyed playing with him, how patient and pleasant he was. Bucky liked how Steve laughed and swept his bangs out of his eyes, how everything about him was easy-going and approachable. Bucky looked at Steve's face as he ran after the frisbee when Clint threw it; he had a strong jaw line and his eyes were always bright and engaging. He was slender, more so than Bucky. Not to say that Bucky was ripped - far from it; he was a lot softer than he used to be in places that he wished were a little more trim, but he wasn't self-conscious about it. He would rather spend time playing with his son than going to the gym. He liked how Steve didn't seem to be self-conscious about himself either; Bucky knew a few short guys who were defensive about their height but Steve didn't seem to care which Bucky found very...

His hand stilled as he was digging out a scoop of ice-cream to put into Clint's plastic tumbler. It had been so long since Bucky had felt even remotely attracted to anyone since Natasha had died that the realization that he was looking at Steve with _longing_ suddenly scared the hell out of him. He put down the ice-cream scoop and rubbed his face. He was attracted to Steve and he was terrified. Not because Steve was a man - Bucky had dated a couple of guys in college before he had met Nat - but because feeling this way about another human being suddenly meant vulnerability and...guilt. Yeah, there was some guilt there too. He and Nat had talked about this while she had been ill. Or rather, _she_ had talked and Bucky had got upset, not wanting to hear her speak about him finding happiness with someone else when she was gone, how she didn't want him to think that he couldn't ever become emotionally and physically involved with anyone besides her. He knew that was one of the reasons he still wore his wedding ring - as some kind of barrier against anyone ever getting close to him. He used it as an excuse too. Because he was scared.

But now...watching Steve, Bucky knew that he couldn't go on like this, denying himself what he wanted most besides his son being happy: Happiness for himself too with another person. Someone to talk to intimately about his hopes and fears. Someone to hold and make love to and just...he clenched his jaw and picked up the ice-cream scoop again. It was stupid to think this way when there was no indication that Steve even felt anything for him besides a professional relationship and something that may be heading towards friendship. He wasn't going to jeopardize Clint's education and what he got out of Steve's art lessons for anything so he did what he always did: He pushed his own feelings aside and ignored them. He finished up the ice-cream sodas and headed back outside.

***

"Everything okay?" Steve asked quietly when he was getting ready to leave. They had all sat outside, enjoying the hazy summer afternoon together and laughing as Clint couldn't take one sip of his soda with his nose getting covered in ice-cream.

"Yeah, everything's good," Bucky replied, ignoring the lie.

Steve put his portfolio down. "I had a really nice afternoon. I just wanted you to know that I like coming here and teaching Clint but I like talking with you, too. I just..." he floundered a little. "You can talk to me, is what I'm trying to say. I'm a good listener and if you ever wanted to just..." he trailed off.

Bucky chewed his bottom lip. He could do friendship. Hell, he _needed_ it. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

Steve looked relieved. "I don't want to seem like I'm pushing you to talk but I don't want you to think that I'm only here to draw with Clint and then leave. I...don't have many friends and..." He looked embarrassed and smiled that smile that wasn't a happy one. "I don't have many friends."

"Me neither," Bucky said before he could stop himself. "I...could use a friend, I think."

Steve smiled and was about to say something else when Clint came out of the living room holding a small, crudely wrapped package - his gift for Steve. He had insisted on wrapping it himself which is why it looked like a dog had got hold of it and chewed it to bits. He held it up.

"This is for you."

Steve knelt down, level with Clint (something Bucky noticed he did a lot instead of leaning over him). "You got me a gift? Aw, that's so sweet of you."

Bucky watched as Steve unwrapped it carefully, ignoring the ache in his chest. Steve was a good person and Bucky was overwhelmed by how much he suddenly wanted him.

Steve gasped when he saw the keychain. "Oh wow, this is so cool! Thank you, Clint." He leaned over and gave Clint a hug. Clint giggled happily and threw his arms around Steve's neck. When they parted, Steve dug around in his jeans pocket. "I'm going to put this on my car keys right now."

Clint ran over to Bucky and wrapped himself around his leg. "He liked it!"

Bucky laughed. "I'm glad."

Steve held up his keys. "There! Now I'll never lose them because Jake will protect them." He stood up and Bucky opened the front door for him. "I guess I'll see you guys on Tuesday?"

"We'll be here," Bucky said. "Thanks Steve."

Steve ducked his head. "Bye."

When Bucky closed the front door, Clint was rubbing his eyes sleepily. It had been an exciting day for him. Bucky ruffled his sandy hair. "Want to watch some cartoons before dinner?"

Clint nodded and they both went into the living room. Bucky turned on the TV and as soon as he sat down on the couch, Clint crawled up onto his lap, his little hands clutching at Bucky's shirt. It wasn't long before he was asleep, the cartoons pretty much ignored and Bucky could feel his own eyes getting heavy. He tried not to think about how nice it would be to do this with Steve here too, like a real family again. He drifted off to sleep sad and wanting.

***

Saturday mornings, Bucky took Clint to the park where they had a playdate with several other children that had been in Clint's nursery group and kindergarten class. The kids all ran around and played together while the parents stood around and talked and drank coffee. Bucky had never really felt like he fitted in with the rest of the group - there were no other single parents - but he continued to make the effort to go every week, more for Clint than for himself. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ any of the other parents, they were all very nice. He just always felt a little removed from everyone else. He stood and watched the kids playing, half-listening to Danny's mom talk to Hank's dad about how early was too early to start preparing kids for their SATs and his mind began to wander back to Steve. He couldn't quite help himself as he thought about what it would be like to hold him, to gently brush his bangs away from his face. He thought about Steve's lips and how soft they looked, how he wanted to -

"Earth to Bucky," Hank's dad was waving a hand in front of his eyes.

Bucky started and then forced himself to smile. "Sorry, I was just daydreaming. Um, what were you saying?"

Hank's dad started to talk to him about possible carpooling when the kids began school in the fall and Bucky nodded along. Half of his attention was still watching the kids play, the other half was trying not to think about Steve.

When they went home, Clint begged Bucky to play Mario Kart with him for a while and he gave in, putting some chicken out to defrost for dinner. As they played, he thought it best not to think about Steve in that way if he could help it. He would just end up making himself miserable.

***

For the next few weeks, things went on as usual: Steve continued with his lessons, he and Bucky spent a little time together afterwards and Bucky continued to deny his feelings. Whenever he thought about Steve in any way other than what they were, his head just became a mess of guilt and yearning so he once again made everything else his top priority and himself last. It was easier that way and kept his mind busy. He didn't like putting himself first - it felt selfish when he had a little boy to think about. So he just let himself be numb to everything else that wasn't Clint or his job.

He was at work one Wednesday fully intending to answer some emails he had been deliberately putting off and grinning at a photo of Clint cutting out dinosaur shapes in cookie dough that Kate had texted, when Brock leaned over his cubicle wall.

"Yo, Barnes. How's it going?"

Bucky put down his phone and gave his best fake smile. "Hey Brock. Good thanks, you?" Bucky tried to be as pleasant as he could to Brock even though he really didn't like the guy. He had started at the company not long after Bucky and had immediately tried the whole alpha-male thing with him which Bucky had _not_ appreciated. He kept his distance unless they absolutely had to work together.

Brock nodded. "Yeah, pretty good. How's the kid? Has it started school yet?"

Bucky bristled immediately. "No, _he_ hasn't. Clint starts first grade in the fall."

"Cool." Brock seemed unaware that he'd offended Bucky by referring to Clint as an it instead of a he. "So look, I need to call in that favor you owe me."

Bucky groaned inwardly. A few months ago, Clint had caught chicken pox and Bucky had needed some time off of work to take care of him. Unfortunately, the only person available to cover him had been Brock and he'd been dreading returning the favor ever since and it had been hanging around his neck like a noose waiting to tighten.

"Sure," Bucky said, resigned to his fate.

Brock leaned in further. "So, Erica in accounting has her eye on you."

Bucky immediately knew where this was going and already didn't like it. "Right..."

"I kind of want to go out with her friend but she'll only hook _me_ up if I hook her up with you. So do a bro a solid?" He grinned that sleazy grin, the one that made Bucky feel slimy.

"Um, I'm not really looking to start dating anyone right now. Clint's kind of my main priority at the moment." Bucky didn't like using his son as an excuse for anything but he did _not_ want to do this at all.

Brock made a face. "Dude, it doesn't have to go any further; just take her out and I get mine, you know what I mean?"

Gross. "I really don't know, Brock. I've barely even spoken to her and I'm just - "

"It's one fucking date, Barnes. And you owe me."

Bucky sighed. "Look, I don't want to go out with someone and have them think that I want to take it further because I don't. And it's a little mean, don't you think?"

Brock scowled. "Wow, who knew you were such a white knight? Come on, just take her out to dinner and leave it at that. You don't have to get all bent out of shape about it."

That told Bucky everything he needed to know about Brock. The guy didn't seem to have one decent bone in his body. But he wasn't going to let this go any time soon and Bucky just wanted Brock off his back. "Okay, fine. Just dinner and she has to know beforehand that I'm not looking for anything long-term or a hook-up or anything else."

Brock was suddenly all sunshine and light again. He stepped into Bucky's cubicle and slapped him hard on the back. "There we go! Thanks, Barnes."

Bucky watched as he sauntered off towards accounting.

***

He started to panic about the whole situation that evening. Brock had come back with a place and time - Thursday evening at an Italian restaurant that Bucky had been to before - and it was done. Bucky was going on his first date in four years. He had no idea what to do; it just all felt so wrong but he had agreed and he couldn't really back out of it now and the last thing he wanted to was get on the wrong side of Brock. Bucky hated himself for thinking this way, for being a coward and giving in but he had and that was that.

Thinking about Steve made him feel even more miserable; what would he think of Bucky for doing this? That was a dumb thing to think because there was nothing between them but a loose kind of friendship at the moment but it still made Bucky feel bad that Steve might think any less of him and he cared about Steve's opinion after all the nice things he had said about his parenting. He could think of this whole thing as a blind date, right? Just something that someone had set him up on and that didn't need to progress beyond a meal and friendly talk?

He tried not to think about it as he played Go Fish with Clint before bed and bit his nails to the quicks.

***

Steve was laughing with Clint in the kitchen - they were trying to draw cats without looking at the paper for Clint's Thursday art lesson. Bucky smiled as he cut up some strawberries to add to the glasses of Sprite he had just poured when his cell phone rang.

Bucky answered and wedged the phone between his ear and shoulder. "Hi Kate."

"Bucky, hi. Look, I'm so sorry to do this to you but I can't babysit tonight - my dad managed to fall off of the roof while he was fixing the gutter and broke his leg. We're at the hospital."

Bucky frowned in concern. "Jeez, is he okay?"

Kate chuckled wearily. "He'll be fine. He's just a little _delicate_ at the moment. My mom is on her way back from Ohio so I said I'd stay with him. I'm really sorry to have to put you out like this."

"No, no. It's fine; family comes first. You do what you need to, okay? I can change my plans, it's no bother." Bucky could have hugged Kate - he wouldn't have to go on this date after all. Brock wouldn't be happy but screw him.

"Thanks, Bucky. You're the best. Give Clint a big kiss for me and tell him that I'll bring Mousetrap next time I'm over."

"Will do, Kate. Bye." Bucky hung up and sighed in relief. Steve must have heard it another way though because he looked up.

"Everything okay?" He asked from the table.

"Yeah, fine. Kate - Clint's babysitter - was going to babysit for me tonight but some family stuff came up. No biggie."

"Well, I could watch Clint for you," Steve said, putting a hand on Clint's head and turning it from side to side, making Clint giggle and grab at Steve's fingers.

"Yes! Steve can stay and play," Clint said.

"Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that," Bucky began weakly. Damn, he _really_ didn't want to go on this date.

Steve shook his head. "Bucky, it's no problem. We could watch Flight Of The Navigator, make some popcorn..."

 

Clint slid out of his chair and ran over to Bucky, sitting on his foot and wrapping himself around his leg. "Pleeeeeeease Daddy. Please let Steve stay. Pleeeeeeease..."

Bucky groaned and tried to lift his leg and shake Clint off. "I really don't want to put you out..."

Steve stood up and pried Clint off of Bucky's leg and threw him over his shoulder. "Honestly, it's no trouble. I'm not doing anything this evening and it means you don't have to change your plans."

"Put me down, put me down!" Clint shouted. Steve put him down and he immediately reached back up. "No, I changed my mind. Pick me back up."

Bucky couldn't say no now. "If you're sure," he said.

Steve smiled. "Of course I'm sure. I can come back after dinner."

Clint jumped up and down. "Steve's babysitting and we're going to watch Fight Of The Namigator."

***

Bucky looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and tidied his hair one last time. He was dreading this date but he wanted to look his best, at least for himself. It had been a while since he'd dressed up to go out anywhere; having a small child usually also came with all kinds of mess that inevitably ended up on him too. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with his best jeans and he thought he looked okay. He huffed out a big sigh and looked at his watch - Steve would be here in about ten minutes.

Clint was waiting at the living room window with his Applejack toy when Bucky came downstairs, singing the chorus to Shake It Off in his high-pitched little voice. Bucky had no idea why Clint liked Taylor Swift so much but he wasn't going to question it.

"Clint, I want you to be really good for Steve, okay? You go to bed when he tells you to."

Clint looked over at him briefly. "I will, Daddy." When he turned back, he cried out in delight. "Steve's here!" He went running into the hallway.

Bucky followed him. "Buddy, you saw him three hours ago." Clint opened the front door and then immediately ran and hid behind Bucky's legs.

"Hi," Steve said and waved at Bucky's legs. "Hi Clint."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Clint, why are you hiding? You know Steve well enough by now."

There was a muffled response and Clint darted off into the living room.

Steve dug around in his messenger bag and pulled out a few DVDs. "I've got some things for Clint to watch that I thought he might like. I just wanted to run these by you, to make sure you're okay with it."

Bucky brightened when he saw the movies. "Well, you already mentioned Flight Of The Navigator which, yes - one of my all-time favorites. Return To Oz - you know, we watched The Wizard Of Oz a while back and Clint wasn't impressed at all but I think he might like this one. It's a little freaky but I loved it when I was a kid. We'll see what happens." He looked at the last one and raised an eyebrow at Steve. "The Brave Little Toaster?"

"Hey, don't judge me," Steve said with an embarrassed grin. "It's a classic - friendship, perilous adventure and some really weird musical numbers. _I_ like it, anyway."

Bucky laughed. "I trust you. Thanks for doing this."

"You look very nice. Date?"

Bucky felt that wave of mixed emotions again: Guilt, trepidation and dread. "Um, yeah. It's kind of a blind date...someone at work insisted. I'm not really into it but..."

"Nothing ventured nothing gained, right?" Steve said with a soft smile. Bucky wanted desperately to read more into that smile.

Clint appeared at the living room door and eyed the DVDs that Bucky had handed back to Steve with interest. "Is that a movie about a toaster?"

Steve squatted down and showed Clint the DVDs. "Yep. And these two are movies that your dad and I watched as kids. Think you might like to give them a try?"

"Yes!" Clint said and then looked up at Bucky. "Can we have popcorn?"

"Sure thing. You can show Steve where it is." Bucky looked at his watch. "Well, I'd better head off. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen and Clint can stay up until 8:30. Don't let him pull any of his usual tricks to try and stay up later."

Steve grinned. "I'm sure he'll be good. Have a great time."

Bucky put on his jacket. "I'll try." He gave Clint a hug and a kiss. "See you tomorrow. Love you lots."

Clint kissed Bucky on the cheek. "Love you, Daddy."

Steve and Clint both waved as Bucky pulled off the driveway and he wished desperately that he was staying home to watch movies with them instead.

***

The date was a disaster.

He met Erica at the restaurant and she seemed nice - a little too flirty for someone he'd never really said more than two words to before maybe. He didn't flirt back but he remained pleasant and tried to make the best of the situation. They sat down and ordered drinks (no alcohol for Bucky because he was driving, Erica seemed disappointed) and talked pleasantly for a little while and it wasn't awful. Bucky was starting to relax, thinking he could get through this and was scanning the menu when Erica rubbed his calf with her foot under the table and he jumped a mile, knocking over his diet coke and sending his cutlery clattering to the floor.

Erica gave him a look. "Jeez, sorry. I got the impression you'd played footsy before."

Bucky could feel his face burning as he picked up his knife and fork and the waiter came over with a dishtowel to wipe up his drink. "Um, not for a while. This is my first date in four years."

Erica's eyes widened. "Are you religious or something?"

"No, I'm a single dad and I've been a little preoccupied with my six year-old son."

Erica froze. "You have a son?"

Bucky nodded, that feeling of dread blooming anew. "Brock didn't tell you that?"

"No, he didn't," she said slowly. Her eyes suddenly rested on his wedding ring which he hadn't thought to take off and her face settled into a tight frown.

Bucky didn't know what to say; he shouldn't have to feel bad about this. He'd told Brock _exactly_ what this date was to him. He shouldn't have agreed to this and he really shouldn't have trusted Brock. He clenched his jaw, holding back the apology that was trying to make it's way out of his mouth. Clint wasn't something he should ever have to apologize to anyone for.

The waiter came over to take their orders and Bucky felt a huge sense of relief. This date could be over now that Erica _definitely_ wasn't interested in taking things any further and he was about to tell the waiter that they wouldn't be staying but Erica spoke first.

"I'll have the fillet mignon and salad. Rare, please." Her voice was clipped and angry.

Right. Okay. So they were staying. "Um, I guess I'll have the shrimp alfredo?" Bucky said.

The waiter left and Bucky and Erica sat in a stilted silence for the rest of the meal, the atmosphere tense and uncomfortable around them. Bucky tried to eat as much as he could but the food seemed tasteless and bland. The longer they stayed, unspeaking, the more miserable and depressed he became. His first date in four years shouldn't have been some favor to pay back; it should have been something special with someone he actually cared about. He thought about Nat and just felt even worse.

The waiter cleared their plates and Bucky hoped that Erica didn't want dessert. Thankfully, she just asked for the check and Bucky immediately snatched it up when the waiter brought it over. He knew she was expecting him to pay and he didn't care - he just wanted to get out of here. Erica got up as soon as Bucky had paid and marched off towards the door. He barely managed to catch up with her.

"Can I give you a lift anywhere?" he asked when they were outside. He was going to be as courteous as he could at least.

"No, thank you. I'll get a cab. See you." She hurried off down the street, not looking back.

Bucky stood for a moment, feeling relieved and a little humiliated and he wasn't entirely sure what to do with himself. He looked at his watch - 7:15pm. Wow. That date had lasted all but an hour and fifteen minutes. He'd feel a little silly going back home right now so he walked down the block to a Starbucks that was still open. He ordered a huge hazelnut latte with as much whipped cream on top as he could get away with. The barista was a grungy-looking kid who was more than happy to see how much cream he could pile on before the foamy mountain became too perilous.

It had been a while since Bucky had gone anywhere by himself that wasn't work and while he thought that it would be nice just to sit and people watch, he missed Clint sitting next to him, asking a million weird hilarious questions or drawing in his little sketchbook. For some reason, he could feel his throat go tight and tears started to make his vision blurry. He wiped his eyes and stared out of the window for a while, willing his mind to go as blank as it could.

***

Bucky unlocked his front door at 9:05pm. He had stayed in the Starbucks for over an hour and had then driven home as slowly as he could. He could hear instrumental music drifting softly from the living room and peered in. Steve was sat on the couch writing in a notebook, the music coming from his phone. He looked up when he heard Bucky and smiled.

"Hey," he said.

Bucky shrugged off his jacket. "Hey. How was Clint? I hope he didn't try and run circles around you."

Steve laughed quietly. "He was actually really good. He loved Flight of the Navigator, we tried Return To Oz but he got a little freaked out, so we watched The Brave Little Toaster instead. He _really_ liked that one. I apologize in advance for the singing you'll now have to endure thanks to that movie."

Bucky grinned. "I guess I'll have to watch it now."

"He went right to bed at 8:30. He was trying to tell me about some kind of dog that likes pizza but I wasn't really sure what he meant."

"It's a story I made up for him that he likes to hear before bed," Bucky said with a groan. "I'll tell you about it another time."

"He really is the sweetest kid," Steve said.

"I don't know what I'd do without him," Bucky said. "Get much work done?" He pointed to Steve's notebook.

"I was just jotting some ideas down for new workshops. Clint kind of inspired me tonight."

Bucky grinned again and indicated to the stairs. "I'm just going to check on him and get changed but do you want to stay for a beer? I could really use one."

Steve rested an arm over the back of the couch and looked concerned. "Everything okay?"

Bucky rubbed his neck. "I'm sure the story of the worst date I've ever been on will sound a lot funnier when I tell it to you."

"I'm sorry," Steve said softly, his blue eyes sympathetic. "If it's any consolation, I have some amazing bad date stories of my own."

Bucky smiled. "I'll be five minutes?"

He headed upstairs and quietly went into Clint's room. His nightlight was on and he was curled up fast asleep, his Applejack grasped in one hand. Bucky leaned over and kissed him gently on the forehead and then changed out of his shirt into an old Brooklyn Dodgers t-shirt and splashed his face with cold water, looking at himself in the mirror. The date was over, he was back at home with his son and Steve was here. He grabbed two beers from the fridge when he went back downstairs and joined Steve on the couch, sitting back with a woof of breath.

"I forgot how exhausting dates could be," Bucky said. "Or maybe I'm just getting old."

Steve chuckled. "I know what you mean. I never make a good impression on blind dates. My nerves get the better of me."

"I know, right? Whoever invented blind dates should be kicked in the ass. Hard."

Steve threw his head back and laughed and then immediately covered his mouth with his hand and looked over towards the stairs. "Shit, sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Kid sleeps like a rock."

"Should I turn my music off?" Steve said. "I was only really listening to it while I worked."

Bucky shook his head. "I like it. I don't mind if you leave it on."

Steve sat back and took a swig of his beer. "So, this date..."

Bucky told Steve everything besides how the date came to be in the first place and he listened with interest, frowning hard when Bucky got to the part about Erica's reaction to him having a son. Bucky didn't really blame her for being surprised but he agreed with Steve when he said she could have handled it with a little less obvious distaste.

"So the date ended at like 7:15 and I...uh...kind of went and sat in a Starbucks for over an hour. So I didn't look like a total loser." He forced a laugh and took a gulp of his drink.

"Bucky, you could have come back here." Steve gently punched him on the shoulder. "You could have watched The Brave Little Toaster with me and Clint."

"I wish I had. This date...it was a favor for a work colleague. I really don't like the guy but I owed him and I really didn't want to go. I'm a jerk for having said yes in the first place." His jaw tightened again and he glared at his beer.

Steve sighed. "You're not the first person to have ever said yes to a date out of obligation. Have you been beating yourself up about that?"

Bucky nodded. "A little."

Steve shifted on the couch so he was fully facing Bucky, his face soft and understanding. "Before I came out, I went on a million double dates with Peggy who saw it as her mission in life to set me up with one of her friends. I should have just told her that I wasn't really interested in women but I was still trying to figure things out for myself. She was pretty mad when I finally told her, mainly because she's my best friend and she thought I didn't trust her enough to say anything but..." he waved a hand. "Anyway, I never wanted to go on any of those dates and I felt bad for acting like I was interested in those girls when I wasn't. It took me at least 8 dates to realize that I didn't _have_ to go on them. You really don't have to feel bad."

Bucky looked over at Steve and he looked so...so _cute_. He was watching Bucky with a little half smile and his cheeks were pink. Bucky was also still trying to process the fact that Steve was interested in men too.

"You're right," Bucky said. "But it wasn't just that. It was...I always thought that when I finally dated again it would be with someone...special. Not some random stranger that I might or might not hit it off with. It just didn't feel right."

"So wait until the right person comes along," Steve said and there was a hint of sorrow in his voice. "You deserve it."

Bucky chuffed. "Sometimes I question that. This evening kind of knocked a ton of confidence out of me."

"Don't let it. You're funny, you're kind. You're raising a little boy on your own and that's tough but anyone could see how much you love Clint and put him first. Don't let one shitty date take all of that away. I know I've said it before but I like coming here for you as much as I do Clint. You're...you're a wonderful person, Bucky."

Bucky couldn't answer for a moment. When he did, his voice was shaky. "Thanks, Steve. I think I needed to hear that tonight." He couldn't quite meet Steve's eyes. "I'm so glad we met you that day in the department store."

Steve's cheeks went a little pinker and he stared down at his beer bottle, picking at the label. "Me too," he said softly.

Bucky cleared his throat and pointed to Steve's beer. "I really shouldn't have given you that if you have to drive home."

"I walked here," Steve said with a grin.

Bucky squinted and thought hard. "Yeah, that would explain the whole your-car-not-being-in-my-driveway thing."

They both started laughing and Bucky felt a little confidence come back.

***

"Hey, me and Clint are going to have a little barbeque on Saturday if you wanted to come over. It's just going to be the two of us; we're going to some big family fun day thing tomorrow with a ton of Clint's friends and their parents and I wanted to do something quiet the day after. If you didn't have plans." Bucky stood with Steve at the front door, hoping he sounded casual.

"I'd love to," Steve said with a surprised little smile. "I can bring over some food and stuff?"

Bucky was very aware of how nervous he felt, asking Steve to join them on something that wasn't related to his lessons and how excited he was that he had said yes almost instantly. _This feels right_ , Bucky thought to himself and while he was still terrified, there was a little bit of hope blooming in his chest too.

"If you want to but this is kind of a thank you. Just for...well..." Bucky stumbled slightly over his words.

Steve stepped forward and gave Bucky a hug. Even though he was small, there was a strength to him that surprised Bucky. He wrapped his arms around Steve's slender waist and hugged back, overwhelmed by the comfort it brought him.

"I should be the one thanking you," Steve murmured into Bucky's shoulder and then he pulled away. Before Bucky could ask what he meant, Steve opened the front door and stepped outside. "What time should I come over?" His voice sounded a little too high.

"Around two?" Bucky said.

Steve started to back up down the front walk. "I'll see you then. Give Clint a hug for me." The he turned and walked quickly away down Bucky's driveway and onto the street before he was out of sight.

Bucky stood at the front door for a long time after Steve was gone.

***

"...and then the brave little toaster and his friends are in the scrap yard and they're about to be _crushed_!"

Bucky gasped, glancing up to look in the rear-view mirror at Clint sitting in the back of the car. "Oh no! Then what happened?" They were on their way to the family fun day at the park.

Clint waved his arms frantically. "The brave little toaster _throws_ himself into the cogs and stops the crushy machine and all of his friends are okay but he's broken. I started to cry when he was all mangled up."

"Oh buddy, it's just a movie," Bucky said.

"I _know_ but then Steve stopped the DVD and told me not to worry and hugged me and we watched it some more and the brave little toaster was okay again. I didn't cry anymore."

Bucky smiled softly. "Good. I'm glad Steve made you feel better."

"I like Steve a lot," Clint said, kicking his feet into the back of the seat. "Do you like Steve, Daddy?"

"Of course I do. Steve's...Steve's really cool."

"I think I like him ten hundred percent," Clint said, his voice firm as though he'd been mulling over this for a while.

Bucky laughed. "There's no such amount as ten hundred percent. It's one hundred percent."

Clint threw his arms up. "That's not enough. I like Steve ten hundred percent. How much percent do you like Steve, Daddy?"

Bucky swallowed as he turned into the parking lot. "I think I like him ten hundred percent too."

***

The fun day was exhausting but good; the parents all mingled together as the kids went on the rides and begged for ice-cream and cotton candy. Clint had just finished another turn on the little carousel (he wouldn't ride it unless the dinosaur was free) when he spotted the bouncy castle. Bucky let himself be dragged over and picked up Clint's sneakers and socks as he bounded over and threw himself onto the inflatable castle, jumping alongside and immediately laughing with several other kids his age. Bucky smiled and sat down at a nearby picnic table and snapped some photos on his phone. He had always promised himself that he wouldn't become one of _those_ parents who posted a million pictures of their kids on Facebook but it was hard not to. He was so damn proud of Clint and whatever he did. He was about to upload a couple when his text notification bleeped.

 **Steve Rogers:** I know it's like the most clichéd thing you can bring to a BBQ but I make a mean potato salad. Just wanted to make sure you and Clint aren't allergic to anything before I start the magical process with these spuds

Bucky smiled before he began to reply; trust Steve to be considerate enough to ask about allergies.

 **Bucky Barnes:** I wouldn't have thought to make potato salad so I'm happy to indulge in the cliché :P We're not allergic to anything (so far). Clint seems to have a cast iron stomach - he swallowed a Lego brick once with no problems, even though I panicked like crazy

Bucky glanced up to make sure the kids were okay on the bouncy castle; there were several other parents watching too but it was habit. Clint was jumping hand in hand with another little boy and singing something that Bucky assumed was from The Brave Little Toaster. He got a reply from Steve.

 **Steve Rogers:** Youch!!

 **Bucky Barnes:** Yep. It was a fun day waiting for that to pass

 **Steve Rogers:** Laughing way too hard right now. Poor Clint!

 **Bucky Barnes:** He never forgave me for flushing it away

 **Steve Rogers:** I'm crying with laughter into these potatoes

"What are you smiling at, Daddy? Can I see?"

Bucky started slightly and looked up. Clint was standing next to the picnic table with the little boy he had been playing with on the bouncy castle.

Bucky put his phone down. "It's nothing, pal. Who's this?"

The other little boy waved at him. "My name is Sam Wilson and me and Clint are best friends."

"Well hello there, Sam Wilson. Nice to meet you. I'm Bucky."

Sam giggled into both of his hands. "Is Bucky really your Daddy's name?"

"Yes," Clint said. "My daddy's name is James Buchanan Barnes but everyone calls him Bucky."

"That's silly," Sam said and he and Clint both giggled again.

Bucky just smiled. "So, you guys are best friends now?"

Clint nodded, excited. "Sam likes The Brave Little Toaster too!"

"My favorite character is Blanky," Sam said.

"Mine is Lampy," Clint said. "Daddy hasn't watched it yet. I watched it with Steve."

"Who's Steve?" Sam asked.

Bucky saw how much Clint brightened when he talked about Steve. "Steve draws with me and he does funny voices and sings songs from Adventure Time. He drew me a Lumpy Space Princess the other day. He's probably my fourth favorite person in the world."

"Steve sounds cool," Sam said and looked up as a tall woman approached the table. "Mommy, this is Clint. We're best friends!"

"That's great, honey. Nice to meet you, Clint." The woman rested a hand on Sam's head and smiled apologetically at Bucky. "Is this little monster bothering you?"

Bucky stood up and watched as Clint and Sam ran around the woman, laughing and throwing grass at each other. "Not at all. I think they've kind of hit it off. I'm Bucky Barnes." He held out his hand.

"Darlene Wilson," the woman said and shook back. They chatted for a little while and watched Sam and Clint play on the bouncy castle before setting up a playdate.

"Sam can get a little shy around other kids so I jump at the chance to get him more social when he finds someone he likes," Darlene said. "Clint is a sweetheart."

Bucky folded his arms and smiled proudly. "He's really taken to Sam. Don't you love how uninhibited kids are with each other?"

Darlene and Sam had to go and Clint watched as they walked away, waving to Sam until he was out of sight.

"We'll need to head off soon," Bucky said as he picked some grass out of Clint's hair. "We're Skyping with Gramma and Pappy after dinner."

Clint pointed at the bouncy castle. "Five more minutes. Please?"

Bucky sighed and sat back down. "Five minutes." Clint bounded off and Bucky took his phone out of his back pocket.

 **Bucky Barnes:** Sorry - setting up playdates. Clint was just singing your praises to his new friend :)

 **Steve Rogers:** Aw, really?

 **Bucky Barnes:** Apparently, you're probably his fourth favorite person in the world

There was a pause before Steve answered.

 **Steve Rogers:** See you guys tomorrow :)

***

The next morning, Clint was driving Bucky to distraction as he tried to fit in some work before he made a start on setting up the barbeque and food. He was in his study, trying to answer some emails and sort out a couple of contracts and Clint had decided that rather than watch Bucky's DVD of Bravestarr quietly like he said he was going to, he was leaning on Bucky's chair and making a nuisance of himself.

"When is Steve getting here?" he asked Bucky for the millionth time.

"I told you, two o'clock."

"Are we going to draw?"

"No, Steve's our guest today."

"But what if he wants to draw?"

"Then that's fine I guess but don't ask him to, okay? Today isn't a work day for him."

"And he's getting here at two o'clock?"

"Yes, Clint."

"When is two o'clock?"

"In three hours."

"Listen, Daddy - this is from The Brave Little Toaster." Clint started to jump around. " _La la la la laaaaa, and you go! But you don't want to goooooooooo..._ "

Bucky spun around in his office chair, determined not to snap at Clint. He placed his hands firmly on his son's little shoulders. "That's great, honey. Look, Daddy really needs to get this work done before Steve gets here. If you can go and watch Bravestarr until I'm done, you can help me make the fruit salad after, okay?"

"Can I watch Galaxy Rangers instead?"

"Sure. You know how to work the DVD player. Just please put Bravestarr away first." He slumped in his chair and rubbed his eyes as Clint pattered back into the living room. He checked his watch - 11:12am. He turned back to his laptop and hurriedly continued his email before Clint got bored and came back in.

***

Luckily, Clint was good and watched cartoons until Bucky was done and then followed him into the kitchen to help with the food. Bucky hoisted him up onto the kitchen counter and Clint washed the fruit at the sink before handing it to Bucky to cut. It took longer this way but Bucky liked Clint to feel included and Clint enjoyed it. Bucky had prepared all of the meat the night before and it was all in the fridge; Clint would mostly be eating hot dogs but Bucky was going to do his best to get some greens in him too and made a start on the salad.

Bucky had time to get the barbeque going in the yard and then made Clint come indoors and stay with him while he got changed. He spent longer than he should have trying to choose what to wear - he didn't want to dress up too much; this wasn't a date but he didn't want to look too casual. Bucky finally chose his favorite red checked shirt to go with his green cargo shorts. Clint jumped on his bed and babbled as he carefully combed his hair.

There was a knock on the front door and Clint scrabbled off of the bed, almost falling flat on his face. "Steve's here!"

"Buddy, careful on the stairs!" Bucky shouted after him. He hurried out of the bedroom and was halfway down when Clint reached the door and threw it open.

"Yay!" he shouted and Bucky heard Steve laugh.

"Hi Clint, how are you?"

"I have a new friend called Sam who likes The Brave Little Toaster and his favorite color is red. My favorite color is purple and I have - "

"Clint, let Steve in! Don't just stand there and yak at him!" Bucky clucked.

Clint stepped aside and Steve walked in, smiling. He was wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt with jeans and Bucky tried not to stare too much - he looked great.

"Hi," Steve said and held up a couple of bags. "The promised clichéd potato salad and some other goodies."

Bucky closed the front door and led Steve through to the kitchen with Clint running happily after them. "Thanks. I'm looking forward to trying it. Clint! Will you watch where you're going?" Clint had run straight into a kitchen chair and knocked it over.

"Can I show Steve the butterfly bush?" Clint headed for the back door.

"Clint, no. Come back here for a minute. Remember what I said? You don't go near the barbeque unless I'm there too." Bucky sighed as Clint ran into the living room instead and heard clattering as he rummaged through his toy box for something.

"Oh man, he's been like this _all_ day."

Steve laughed. "He's so cute. You keep up well with him."

Bucky put the potato salad in the fridge. Steve had also bought some lychees and cherries. "Sometimes I feel like I'm running backwards. Can I get you something to drink? I've got beers but I don't like to drink alcohol around Clint. I thought we could start on those after he's gone to bed. I mean, if you wanted to stay..."

Steve leaned against the kitchen counter. "Sounds good to me. I'll have whatever you guys are having."

Bucky poured out three diet cokes and added a slice of lemon and lime to his and Steve's when Clint came out of the living room holding the Galaxy Rangers DVD.

"Look - I was watching Daddy's cartoons." He held the box up to Steve.

Steve gasped and knelt down level with Clint. "Oh wow! This used to be one of my favorites." He started to sing. "Into these worlds of unknown danger they ride, they're the Galaxy Rangers, heroes in the sky!"

Bucky turned around dramatically when Steve got to the chorus and joined in. "No guts, no glory!"

Clint giggled hysterically. "You know all the words!"

Steve grinned over at Bucky. "Well, yeah. I used to watch this all the time. I bet your dad did too."

"Did you ever watch Silverhawks?" Bucky asked. "Speaking of great theme songs..."

Steve pointed at him excitedly. "Oh my god. I _loved_ Silverhawks. Wings of silver, wings of steel..."

"Silverrrrrrrrhawks," Bucky sang, his voice breaking as he tried to hit the high note. He laughed with Steve and Clint as he cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. Need to do my warm-up vocals before I try that again."

Steve smiled down fondly at the Galaxy Rangers DVD. "We had some great cartoons back then."

"I like Bravestarr too," Clint said happily.

Steve's eyes widened and he gazed up at Bucky. "You just officially became the best father in the world."

Bucky handed Steve his drink with a bashful grin. "I don't want him to miss out on the classics is all. Come on, let's go outside."

Clint grabbed Steve by the hand and dragged him to the back door. "I want to show you the butterfly bush. All the butterflies go there."

They sat in the garden and talked and laughed and played Go Fish. Bucky cooked at the barbeque while Steve and Clint watched, Clint begging Bucky to flip the burgers as high as he could (two ended up on the floor). Steve's potato salad was a big success.

"Holy sh - _sugar_..." Bucky said as he took a mouthful, catching himself before Clint heard. "This is _amazing_ , Steve. What did you put in here?"

Steve beamed. "It was my mom's recipe. Milk, cream, butter, some paprika, a little lemon juice - from a real lemon - some chives."

Bucky made a happy noise as he ate some more. "There's no way I can go back to store bought potato salad after this. You've ruined me."

"Daddy, I want this every day," Clint said through a mouthful.

"Pal, don't talk with your mouth full please," Bucky said.

Clint swallowed and picked up his hotdog, checking it closely to make sure that Bucky had put on enough ketchup. "Steve, my daddy likes you ten hundred percent. He told me so."

Bucky had been about to take a bite out of his burger and his hand stilled halfway to his mouth. He could feel his face heat up a little and his eyes flicked over to Steve who was looking at him with an amused smile. "Um, I _did_ say that but Clint has taken it out of context a little," he spluttered. "He told me that he liked you ten hundred percent and asked if I did too."

"I see," Steve said and he was trying not to laugh.

"I like you more than ten hundred percent, I think," Clint said, managing to get a big smear of ketchup on his cheek as he bit his hot dog.

"Thank you, Clint," Steve replied.

"Daddy, do you like Steve more than ten hundred percent?"

Bucky stared down at his burger. "Yes, Clint."

"How much, Daddy?"

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek. "I don't know. Fifteen hundred percent?"

Clint seemed satisfied with that answer and concentrated on eating his hot dog. When Bucky finally brought himself to look up at Steve, he was watching Bucky with a grin, his blue eyes clear and soft. Bucky couldn't help but smile back, that feeling of hope spreading across him, stronger than it had been before.

***

Bucky couldn't think of a time when he'd had a better afternoon; after they finished eating (getting Clint to try a lychee was hilarious) they all played frisbee for a while and then sat on the garden lounge chairs in the hazy summer light talking and laughing. Clint sat with Steve on his lounge chair stretched out beside him talking about Sam and asking a million questions.

"What's your favorite color, Steve?"

"Blue," Steve said. "But I like red a lot too."

"But blue's your top favorite?"

Steve nodded. "Yep."

"Are you married?"

Bucky saw Steve shift very slightly. "Um, no I'm not."

"Why not?" Clint asked.

Steve just smiled sadly at him. "I guess I'm waiting for the right person to marry."

Clint was about to say something else but Bucky jumped in before he could; he knew Clint was just being curious but he didn't want Steve to feel uncomfortable with questions that were obviously a little too personal for him.

"Hey, why don't you show Steve that drawing you made of Finn and Jake?" Bucky said.

Clint jumped down off of Steve's lounge chair and headed for the back door. "I drew a stegosaurus all by myself too."

"I'm sorry about that," Bucky said when Clint was out of earshot.

Steve shook his head. "It's okay. He's a kid and kids ask questions. It's just kind of hard to come up with answers on the spot that aren't too...complicated, I guess?"

Bucky sighed sympathetically. "I know what you mean. A little while back he asked me if I was ever going to get married again. That was a fun question to dance around."

"What did you tell him?" Steve asked, those blue eyes watching Bucky intently.

"That I was waiting for the right person," Bucky said and smiled softly. "Seems like that's the best answer to give."

Clint came back out and happily waved his drawings at Steve who looked at them and praised how good they were.

Bucky picked up his phone and started to scroll through his playlists. "Mind if I put on some music?"

"Shake It Off!" Clint cried.

Bucky groaned. "No more Taylor Swift. I'm sure I'm singing Shake It Off in my sleep."

Steve laughed and started to sway with Clint on the lounge chair. "'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play, and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..."

Bucky threw a wadded-up napkin at him. "Don't you start."

Bucky scrolled through his playlist, ignoring Steve and Clint as they whisper-sang to him. "Okay, now _this_ is real music." He hit play and turned up the volume as Take On Me by A-Ha started to blare.

Steve put a hand on Clint's shoulder solemnly. "Okay, I have to agree with your dad. This is real music."

Bucky fist-pumped the air. "Nailed it." He started to sing along to the first verse, a little off-key but his confidence grew when Steve's face broke into a huge grin and he started to sing along too.

Clint then watched with a mix of amusement and bewilderment as the two grown men before him, one of them his father, jumped up out of their lounge chairs and started to sing at each other, high-pitched and completely out of tune.

"Take on meeeeee..." Bucky sang.

"Take on me!" Steve sang back, his voice high and squeaky, smiling as Clint buried his face in a lounge cushion and laughed.

"Take me on..." Bucky tried to look as earnest as he could, making huge puppy-dog eyes at Steve who snorted and managed his own line without laughing.

"Take on me!"

Bucky danced over the patio a couple of steps and started to lurch over Clint who shrieked and giggled, squirming on the lounge chair. "I'll be gone..."

Steve joined Bucky and they both started to tickle Clint as they hit the really high notes. "In a day or twwwwooooooooo!"

Bucky collapsed onto the concrete in a fit of laughter and Steve was kneeling on the floor in front of the lounge chair, giggling uncontrollably as Clint tried to put his hands over Steve's mouth.

"Stop, please stop! My ears hurt!" Clint shouted.

Steve grabbed Clint and heaved him onto his shoulders. Clint giggled and started to play with Steve's hair. "Maybe we should," he said to Bucky, still chuckling breathlessly. "Your neighbours might think we're murdering someone."

Bucky wiped his eyes and looked up at him. Steve looked so happy, dancing around with Clint and it made him feel...good. Really good. _This is what it should be_ , he thought to himself. _Sharing a life with someone_. He thought about Nat and the sense of guilt that had been filling him whenever he thought about being with someone else was starting to ebb. He knew that if Nat was here, she would love Steve. He had no doubt about that.

"You're right," he said and hauled himself to his feet. "The amount of noise _this_ one makes..." Bucky reached up and tickled Clint's feet and Clint laughed and grabbed at Bucky's hands. "But we're agreed that 80s music is awesome."

"Oh, I think so," Steve said with a business-like nod. He put Clint down and listened as Bucky's phone played the next track. "Nik Kershaw, are you kidding me?" Steve smiled in delight, tidying his hair with a swipe.

Bucky held up his hands. "I'm an 80s kid. I love the classics."

"This music is weird," Clint said and went to go and grab some more cherries for himself.

Bucky and Steve sat back down on their lounge chairs and sang along softly to the song. Bucky glanced at Steve and he was leaning back and staring up at the sky, the few clouds there turning powder pinks and purples as the sun got lower. He had a little half-smile on his face,

"Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day..." they sang together.

***

Clint didn't put up much of a fight when it was time to go to bed which Bucky was thankful for. It had been a great afternoon and Clint just nodded sleepily when Bucky mentioned that it was already past his bedtime.

"You can have a bath in the morning," Bucky said and went to pick him up.

Clint shook his head. "Wait," he said and stumbled over to Steve. He climbed up into Steve's lap and hugged him tightly around the neck. "Goodnight, Steve."

Steve held him back and closed his eyes. "Goodnight little man," he said. "Dream good dreams."

Bucky picked Clint up and felt him sag heavily onto his shoulder. "I won't be long," he said to Steve. "Want to stay for a couple of beers?"

Steve smiled softly. "I'd love to."

Bucky took Clint upstairs and dressed him in his pyjamas as Clint swayed on his feet. "There we go," Bucky said and tucked him in. He gently brushed his hand across Clint's face. "Did you have a nice time today?"

Clint nodded, his eyelids already drooping. "Can Steve come over every day?"

"Maybe not everyday," Bucky said. "He...he has his own life." He hoped that Clint couldn't hear the longing in his voice. "But hopefully he'll visit us some more."

Clint snuggled into his comforter. "I want to see him everyday."

Bucky leaned down and kissed Clint on the forehead. "Me too."

When he was sure that Clint was sleeping, Bucky set up his old baby monitor so he could hear from the garden if he woke up. He didn't think Clint would but it made Bucky feel better to have the monitor with him. He tucked it into his back pocket and got a beer for him and Steve out of the fridge and grabbed a couple of citronella candles.

When he stepped back outside, Steve was sitting on the edge of his lounge chair, texting. Bucky's phone was now playing Wow by Kate Bush. He smiled when he saw Bucky. "Peggy," he said as if he had to explain. "I was just telling her how I've found someone with the same bad taste in music as me."

Bucky chuffed indignantly. " _Bad_ taste? Pal, we have the _best_ taste." He handed Steve a beer and lit the two candles. It was almost dark but still warm and there was a soft breeze.

Steve grinned as he took the beer. "That's what I've been trying to tell her but she's not convinced." Steve took a drink and then sat back, looking up at the first few stars to come out. "What a gorgeous evening."

Bucky slumped into the chair next to Steve's and nodded. "Sure is." He turned to Steve. "Thanks for coming over today. It was a great afternoon."

Steve grinned. "It really was. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. It's been a weird couple of years, what with my mom dying and also..." he trailed off uncertainly.

Bucky turned slightly so he was facing Steve. "Also...?"

Steve huffed a breath out through his nose. "I don't want to turn today into some kind of Steve Rogers Pity Party. It's been so nice and - "

"Steve," Bucky interrupted. "The talking to each other about anything goes both ways."

Steve looked grateful. "When Clint asked me if I was married..."

"I'm so sorry about that - "

Steve shook his head and smiled sadly - he did that a lot. "No, it's okay. It's just...I was engaged. A while back, before my mom died."

"What happened?" Bucky asked quietly.

Steve was looking at the patio. "I was in love with Howard...we were together for three years before we decided to get married. He'd told me when we first got together that he never wanted to have kids - adopted, fostered, surrogate - and I said I understood and all but...part of me always hoped that he'd change his mind, the longer we were together, maybe. About a month after we got engaged I made some joke about what we'd name our kids and he just...he got angry and told me that he'd never change his mind about it and if I was serious, we should just break up. Part of me wanted to tell him it was just a joke but...I knew it wasn't. I wanted kids. I couldn't lie to myself that I didn't and it really hit me that I would never have any if I stayed with Howard so we broke up."

"It wouldn't have worked if that's how you felt," Bucky said and Steve looked up at him. "You did the right thing."

Steve sighed. "Why does doing the right thing always feel so lonely? But you're right."

"I'm sorry things have been tough," Bucky said.

"Other people have it tougher. You lost someone too, in a heartbreaking way. I'm not - "

"Steve, you can't do that to yourself. You feel how you feel. Please don't ever think that you have no right to feel sad or down. You should see the pity parties I throw for myself - sometimes you need to feel a little sorry for yourself, get it out of your system and then carry on."

"I guess," Steve said quietly. "It's so hard sometimes."

Bucky thought about the last four years without Natasha. "Yeah, you got that right."

"What was she like?" Steve asked and Bucky wondered how he knew that he was thinking about Nat. He watched Bucky carefully with a look of worry, like he didn't want to say the wrong thing.

Bucky leaned back on his lounge chair with a dopey little smile. "She was amazing. Funniest person I've ever met. I was never bored around her." He turned to Steve. "She would have really liked you and how you are with Clint."

Steve turned to look back up at the sky. "I hope so."

"I know so," Bucky said.

They sat quietly, listening to Vienna by Ultravox and Bucky wanted more than anything to reach across and take Steve's hand but there was still that fear holding him back. He just wanted to touch somebody else in a way that wasn't a handshake or a friendly hug. He hadn't realized just how desperate he was to be touched with tenderness himself. He clutched his drink tighter.

"80s music really is the best," Steve said.

"I don't know; I think the 90s had a lot to offer," Bucky answered.

Steve twisted on the lounge chair and faced him, looking sheepish. "I had a bit of a thing for the Backstreet Boys."

Bucky laughed and searched through his phone, hitting play and watching Steve's face light up when Everybody (Backstreet's Back) started to blare. "You and me both."

Steve's smile grew wider. "Really? You seem way too cool to like the Backstreet Boys."

Bucky snorted. "No-one's too cool for the Backstreet Boys."

They both started to sing along to the song, and Bucky felt good again. He wanted to just enjoy being with Steve. Bucky held back a laugh as Steve started to really get into the song, closing his eyes and shifting his shoulders along to the music.

Steve stopped singing after a couple of minutes when he realized that Bucky wasn't singing along with him anymore, just staring at him open mouthed and amused.

"Oh, are we not singing the whole song?" Steve asked in an embarrassed voice.

Bucky started to laugh and once he started he couldn't stop. "No, we're not." He laughed and laughed until tears were running from his eyes and his chest was hurting. When he glanced over at Steve, he was laughing as hard as Bucky, eyes crinkled at the corners, doubled over and laughing his warm, deep laugh.

Bucky hadn't had anything like this for so long - just someone he could let go with and be himself. Sure, the moms and dads from Clint's kindergarten class were nice and he chatted amiably with the other parents at the park, but he didn't really have any real friends, not anymore. No-one he could laugh with like this, anyway.

They both finally calmed down and Steve sank back onto his lounge chair, little chuffs of laughter escaping him. "Oh man. Well, you know I'm a huge dork now. Glad I got that out of the way."

"I still like you," Bucky said and Steve threw him a shy little smile.

"Good. I wouldn't want to scare you away."

"It would take more than being able to sing the Backstreet Boys to scare me away."

They smiled at each other and then burst out laughing again.

***

Steve stayed until 2am, the two of them talking easily and openly. They talked about their childhoods, their past relationships, what foods they liked; anything and everything. Bucky couldn't stop - he wanted to tell Steve everything about himself and he wanted to know everything about Steve. Steve became more relaxed as he spoke and Bucky liked how he would articulate with his hands, how he was quick to smile and laugh. They'd had a few beers each but Bucky didn't feel drunk - he felt giddy but he knew it was because of Steve, not the alcohol.

The citronella candles finally died and Steve ran his hands through his hair. "I should head off," he said with a little sigh.

Bucky sat up and stretched. "Yeah, I bet you anything Clint will wake me up at 6am. I'm looking forward to the day when he realizes that sleeping in is the best thing in the universe."

Steve chuckled. "That's a few years away yet." He gathered his empty bottles and followed Bucky back into the kitchen.

"I can't remember the last time I stayed up this late and just hung out with someone," Bucky said, putting the bottles into the recycling.

"Me too," Steve said. "I had a really great time." His cheeks were pink from the beer and he looked radiant. He was leaning against the kitchen table with his hands tucked under his arms and his head tilted slightly, watching Bucky with a content little grin. There was something simultaneously confident and apprehensive about his body language; Bucky found it insanely attractive and he started to feel a stirring he hadn't felt for a _long_ time. The last four years had barely even left him with much time or energy to even touch himself and on the rare occasions when he'd had some precious moments to think about it, he'd found it hard to even get aroused, his mind thinking about a million things that were decidedly un-sexy instead.

But looking at Steve's slender body, the way everything about him was slight but undoubtedly masculine, had Bucky suddenly feeling that familiar heat spreading through him and worried that Steve would notice. Bucky quickly turned away and started to load the dishwasher.

"A single dad's work is never done," he joked.

Steve chuckled and picked up his messenger bag. "Are you still good for Tuesday's lesson?"

Bucky nodded and grabbed a dishtowel, wiping his hands on it. "Wouldn't miss it. We'll have to arrange something for when Clint starts school. He'll be crushed that we won't be seeing you as often." Bucky realized as he said it that he would be too.

Steve's face dropped for a second before he quickly smiled. "We'll sort something out. Besides, it's what, three weeks away?"

Bucky groaned as they walked to the front door. "It's going by so quickly. I still can't believe he's starting First Grade."

Steve stood for a moment, gripping the strap of his bag. "Bucky, I just wanted to say...spending time with you and Clint has...it's..." He swallowed and Bucky watched as he licked his lips nervously, wanting more than anything to lean in and kiss them. They looked so soft. "It's meant a lot to me. Thank you for letting me be a small part of your lives."

Bucky sagged a little. "You're more than that, Steve."

Steve met his eyes and Bucky thought he saw - he _hoped_ \- something else other than friendship in them. Steve looked down and indicated to the door. "See you Tuesday?"

Bucky nodded and hesitated slightly before leaning over and hugging Steve, savoring his warmth. Steve held him tightly before opening the front door and stepping outside.

"Give Clint a big hug for me?"

Bucky smiled. "I will."

Steve walked to the end of the driveway and then looked back, holding his hand up before he was out of sight. Bucky closed and locked the front door and turned off all of the lights before heading upstairs. He checked in on Clint, still sleeping soundly with his mouth open. Bucky smiled and went to his own room where he changed into his sleep shorts and crawled into bed. He lay in the dark for a few moments before he hesitantly trailed his hand down his stomach and under the waistband of his shorts and started to stroke himself gently. He gasped softly and closed his eyes, imagining that he was kissing Steve as he touched himself.

***

Sunday was a quiet day; Bucky and Clint spent most of it playing on the living room rug, building robots out of Lego and then setting up as many dominoes as they could across the floor, Clint patient and excited as Bucky lined them all up carefully and the two of them cheering together when Clint set them off and they all fell in a satisfying line.

Kate called to say that she was good to watch Clint on Monday when Bucky was in the office and they had a dinner of macaroni cheese and broccoli. Bucky was in his study sorting through some paperwork that evening to take in with him tomorrow as Clint read comics in the living room when his phone bleeped.

 **Steve Rogers:** Hope you haven't been too tired today :P

Bucky grinned and tapped back a reply.

 **Bucky Barnes:** As predicted, Clint woke me up early but it's been a good day. How about you?

 **Steve Rogers:** I had a breakfast date with Peggy pretty early and was nodding off into my pancakes. She wasn't impressed

 **Bucky Barnes:** XD I won't keep you up so late next time

There was a longer gap between messages this time and Bucky was slipping some files into his work bag when his text notification beeped again.

 **Steve Rogers:** I know I said it last night, but I had a really great day yesterday. I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner tomorrow night. I have no idea if this is completely inappropriate given our current situation so I apologize if it is

Bucky read the message, slightly stunned and a little amused at the formalness of Steve's tone; he could feel the nervousness behind it and it just endeared him to Steve even more. Steve was asking him out which meant...Steve _likes_ him. Bucky's heart started thumping into overdrive and his hand was shaking as he replied.

 **Bucky Barnes:** Are you asking me out on a date?

 **Steve Rogers:** Yes. It's inappropriate, I'm so sorry

 **Bucky Barnes:** I would love to go on a date with you

Another pause.

 **Steve Rogers:** You would?

 **Bucky Barnes:** Very much

 **Steve Rogers:** I'm almost tempted to take a selfie so you can see how hard I'm smiling :)

 **Bucky Barnes:** Likewise :)

 **Steve Rogers:** Is 7pm tomorrow okay? Is it too short notice to get someone to watch Clint?

Bucky quickly sent a message to Kate asking if she would be free to stay for the evening, his head swimming. She replied almost instantly saying that she could; she'd even cook Clint dinner. Bucky bit his lip and sat down.

 **Bucky Barnes:** Taken care of. I should be worried given how my last date was a complete disaster but I'm not

 **Steve Rogers:** How come?

Bucky couldn't believe how nervous he was but he was starting to finally realize that life was too short to dwell on the what-ifs and he felt a surge of confidence as he answered. He knew that Nat would be proud of him for taking this step and he felt himself tear up as he replied.

 **Bucky Barnes:** Because this time it's with someone special

***

Bucky was a bag of excited nerves as soon as he woke up on Monday. This summer had just been...Bucky didn't have the words. Purely by accident he had met someone incredible after thinking that he could never feel this way about anybody again. He knew it was still too early to be thinking ahead; as well as they knew each other right now, he and Steve still had a lot to find out and discover and Bucky couldn't wait.

He walked into the office with a little more of a spring in his step. If Erica had mentioned their awful date to anyone, no-one was saying anything and Bucky wouldn't care if they did. Brock passed him in the hall and gave him a dirty grin and a wink - Bucky wasn't sure if it was because "he got his" or if he thought Bucky had gotten something - and he made a point of glaring slightly before he sat down at his desk.

It was 12:25pm when his cell rang. "Hi Katie," he answered cheerfully; Kate often called when he was at work and he had no reason to think that anything was wrong.

"Okay, now I just want you to know that everything is under control and there's no need to panic before I tell you - "

Bucky bolted upright. "What? Panic? Kate, what's going on? Is Clint okay?"

"Shit, I knew that was the wrong way to start this conversation. Clint was playing in the backyard and I was just sitting at the patio table studying and he started to scream. I nearly crapped myself and ran over to him; he didn't realize that he'd been sitting next to a fire ant nest and they were all over his legs. He's been bitten pretty badly."

"Oh my god, oh my god," Bucky chanted, his vision clouding slightly.

"Bucky, it's okay. I grabbed him and called my mom and we're at the ER. She's seeing Clint right now. I'm sorry I didn't call you right away but I wanted to be sure that there was no sign of any allergic reaction first before we got here."

New terror enveloped him. "Is there?"

"No, he's just scared and upset and he wants you. God, I'm so sorry Bucky." Kate's voice finally broke and her confidence slipped. "I should have checked the grass. I just...he's played there a _million_ times before - "

"Katie, it's okay. It's no-one's fault. I mowed the lawn a few days ago and there was nothing there. Fucking ants." Bucky was starting to calm down slightly. "Look, I'm going to be there as soon as I can. It's the hospital your mom works at, right?"

He heard Kate take a wet breath. "Yeah. I won't leave Clint alone."

"Thanks, Kate. I should be a half hour at the most, okay? Tell Clint I'm coming." They said goodbye and Bucky practically ran to his boss's office to tell her what had happened. She immediately told him to go and he tried not to break the speed limit on the way to the hospital, not wanting to think about Clint scared and in pain.

***

Clint was a mess by the time Bucky arrived at the ER; his face was red and blotchy and wet with tears and his legs - _oh god, the poor little guy_ , Bucky thought - were covered in angry red sores. Kate's mom was carefully applying ointment to them and she had to stop Clint from trying to scramble up into Bucky's arms. Kate watched from the other side of the hospital bed, her eyes red and watery.

"Daddy," Clint sobbed as Bucky leant down and hugged him. "There were ants all over me and they _bit_ me and I didn't even do _anything_ to them!" He started to cry harder.

Bucky stroked his hair. "I know, pal. Ants don't know any better. It's okay, I'm here." He looked down at Clint's legs again and his heart broke. "Jesus," he breathed as he looked at the stings.

Kate's mom gave him a positive smile. "It looks worse than it is. He's just going to be a little sore and itchy for the next few days. He's not allergic and so far the reaction to the bites has been pretty standard. I know he's in pain at the moment but the worst is over."

Bucky wiped Clint's cheeks. "Thanks for seeing him, Ellie. I appreciate it."

"I feel terrible," Kate said from the other side of Clint's bed.

"Kate picked me up and hit the ants on my legs. Then she stomped on the ant's nest and said a lot of bad swears," Clint whimpered.

Bucky finally managed a chuckle. "Kate did good." He looked over to her. "Don't beat yourself up over this, hon. It was an accident, okay?"

Kate wiped her eyes and nodded, putting a hand on Clint's head and gently tidied his hair. "Stupid ants. I showed them."

Ellie finished with Clint's legs. "Okay, I want to keep Clint here for a few hours just in case. I'm going to give you some topical ointment and some antihistamines; if you've got something at home with aloe vera in it, that'll help with the stinging."

"I can pick something up," Bucky said. Clint was making hitching little breaths and clinging to him tightly as Ellie squeezed Bucky's shoulder reassuringly and left the curtained area.

Kate put her hands on her hips and woofed out a huge breath and gathered herself. "What a day. I need some coffee. You want some, Bucky? They let me in the staff lounge where they keep the good shit."

"Bad swear," Clint grumbled from the bed.

Bucky grinned wearily. "I think we'll let Kate have that bad swear today. I'd love a coffee. Don't suppose there's any chance you could Irish it up for me? Do they keep anything like that in the staff lounge too?"

Kate snorted. "Dude, I'm nineteen years old. Even if they did have anything, I wouldn't be allowed to drink it." She gave Bucky a pointed look and he laughed softly. He liked Kate a lot. He had known her family for a long time and she had been babysitting Clint since she was fifteen. She was trustworthy and funny and he wouldn't be able to thank her enough for how she'd handled this whole situation. She gave Clint a kiss on the cheek before she left.

Bucky carefully climbed up onto the bed next to Clint and held him, being mindful of his legs. "Okay, buddy, We're okay. You've been so brave."

Clint fisted his little hands into Bucky's shirt and sniffled. "My legs hurt."

Bucky kissed him on the head. "I know. They'll be sore for a little while but they'll feel better soon."

"I want Steve," Clint said and Bucky couldn't help but smile. "I don't think he'll be able to come right now but I'll try and call him okay?" He realized that he would have to cancel his date tonight.

Kate came back with a couple of un-Irish coffees and a juice for Clint and he eventually drifted off to sleep. Bucky carefully untangled himself from the bed and stood up, stretching.

"I need to get some air. Can you watch him for me?" he asked Kate quietly.

"Of course," Kate said.

Bucky walked through the busy corridor and out into afternoon sunlight. He hurried away from the main doors and found a quiet spot and finally sagged against the wall. He had maintained a brave face for Clint - the last thing he'd wanted to do was scare him further by showing his own terror and panic - but everything hit him and he let himself cry a little. He rubbed his forehead and took several deep, shuddery breaths. Clint was alright and it could have been a whole lot worse.

He took his phone out of his back pocket and tapped out a text to Steve. He couldn't believe how drained he felt.

 **Bucky Barnes:** Hey Steve. Really sorry but I'm going to have to put our date on hold. Clint had a run in with some fire ants and is in the ER. Everything's okay, just had a scare, he's going to be fine

Bucky hit send and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and feeling the sunlight on his face. His phone rang almost immediately.

"Bucky? What happened? Is Clint alright?" Steve sounded frantic.

"Steve, it's okay. Clint was sitting near an ant's nest in the backyard and he got bitten all over his legs. He's okay; we'll be going home in an hour or two."

"But he's alright?" Steve asked again and Bucky could hear the upset in his voice.

"He'll be fine. He's just shaken and sore and he'll probably be itchy as hell over the next couple of days."

Steve let out a wobbly breath. "Thank God. I just...I totally panicked when I read your text."

"Aw shit, I'm sorry, Steve. I should have called you. I just...I'm not thinking straight - Kate called me at work and it was all so..." his voice hitched and he stopped to compose himself.

"Hey, it's okay," Steve said softly.

"Clint's been asking for you," Bucky said and wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.

"He has?" Steve asked and Bucky could hear him smiling.

Bucky chuffed out a laugh. "Yeah."

"What's his favorite food?"

"Huh?"

"I'm coming over later and making you guys dinner. What's Clint's favorite?"

Bucky couldn't believe this guy. "Steve, you don't have to - "

"I know I don't _have_ to but this isn't up for debate. I'm coming over and making you dinner and we'll watch a movie or something and give Clint lots of hugs. Okay?"

Bucky shook his head and laughed. "How can I say no to that? He loves spaghetti bolognaise."

"Then bolognaise it is. I'll be over at five."

"Thank you," Bucky said, wanting to see Steve more than anything right now. "I'd better get back inside - I just came out for some air."

"No problem. I'm glad everything's alright. Keep strong, okay?"

"I'll try. Bye, Steve."

Bucky hung up and thought about how lucky he and Clint were to have ever met Steve Rogers.

***

Bucky was finally allowed to take Clint home and they sat and watched Teen Titans Go! for a couple of hours, Clint curled up on Bucky's lap, not wanting to be apart from him for a minute. At five o'clock the doorbell rang and Bucky stood up to answer it with Clint in his arms.

"Is that Steve?" Clint asked.

"Yep. He came over especially to make dinner for us. Isn't that nice of him?"

Bucky answered the door and Steve stepped inside, setting down the grocery bags he was holding and rubbed Clint on the back.

"Hey Clint. I heard you picked a fight with an ant's nest." His face crumpled slightly when he looked at Clint's legs.

"They started it!" Clint protested and reached out to Steve from Bucky's arms for a hug.

Steve took him and threw Bucky a little smile. "Yeah, ants are like that. But I also heard that you've been very brave today. Is that true?"

"Daddy said I was."

Bucky nodded. "It's true. He was."

Steve set Clint down and knelt beside him, digging around in his bag. "Well, I think that deserves a reward, don't you?" He pulled out his DVD of The Brave Little Toaster. "I want you to have this. It got me through some pretty tough times when I was little and had to be brave. Although I had it on VHS for a few years before I got it on DVD."

Clint gasped and hugged the DVD to his chest. "Look, Daddy!"

Bucky smiled at Steve gratefully. "That's so nice of you."

"Thank you, Steve," Clint said and hugged Steve's legs before running into the living room, no doubt to put the movie on.

Steve turned to Bucky. "How are you holding up?" he asked, his eyes soft with concern. "I can imagine it's been a tough day."

"It was, but it's better now." Bucky swallowed, that heady mix of fear and excitement roiling within him once again. "I'm glad you're here."

Steve smiled and it was a reflection of everything that Bucky was feeling himself. "Me too," he said with quiet sincerity.

***

Bucky managed to hold Clint off from watching the movie until they'd eaten dinner. Steve's spaghetti bolognaise was way better than Bucky's and Clint didn't hesitate in telling him so. Bucky couldn't help but agree.

When the dishwasher was loaded, the three of them settled on the couch with Clint in the middle and watched The Brave Little Toaster. Bucky had never seen it and had to admit that as weird as it was, especially for a kid's movie, it was pretty good. During the scene where the flower sees it's reflection in the toaster, Bucky made a hurt noise.

"What the heck?" he said to Steve, over Clint's head. "That's the saddest thing I've ever seen! What kind of movie is this?!"

Steve just grinned. "A _great_ movie."

As it drew closer to the end, Clint's head was starting to droop. He was snuggled close to Steve with one hand still twisted in Bucky's shirt, keeping him tethered. Bucky had his arm resting over the back of the couch and he propped his head in his hand and looked down at his son, suddenly and painfully aware that Clint would have harder things in life to face than some ant bites and that he wouldn't always be there to protect him. But then his eyes flitted up to Steve and how he had one arm around Clint's little shoulders, how he had wanted nothing more than to come over and offer comfort. How he had wanted to protect them both in his own way, generous and considerate.

Bucky glanced at Steve's face as he watched the end of the movie; he was beautiful. His hair was silky and golden and he kept pushing his glasses up his nose with one finger which was adorable. Bucky lost himself in staring at Steve's neck and the few moles that dotted it for a few moments before he realized that Steve was staring back at him. Bucky faltered for a moment but then reached out and touched Steve on the shoulder; just a small brush of his hand. Steve smiled and Bucky knew that he would never be alone again.

Clint stirred on the couch and Bucky shifted. "Come on, Clint. I think it's time for bed." He scooped Clint into his arms and stood up.

"Can Steve tuck me in?" Clint said sleepily.

Steve stood up, a happy little smile on his face. "Sure," he said and waited as Bucky kissed Clint and then carefully handed him over. Steve indicated that he'd just be a couple of minutes and headed upstairs.

Bucky took the DVD out of the player and put it away and then started to busy himself with tidying up some of Clint's toys. He was holding Applejack and nervously twisting the pony's tail in his hands when Steve came back into the living room.

"Poor little guy. I'm glad he's okay." He stood a few feet away from Bucky, shifting from foot to foot. "You're going to have to clue me in on this pizza dog thing. I feel like I'm missing out on something amazing."

Bucky chuckled. "If you know what it is, Clint will never stop hounding you about it."

They stood in silence for a moment, both not sure where to take things.

Bucky held up Applejack. "Not quite what I had in mind for our first date."

Steve rubbed his arm and smiled shyly. "I don't know, it was kind of nice. Ant bites aside." He closed the distance between them a little and Bucky's breath caught in his throat when Steve took the My Little Pony from him and placed it on the coffee table.

He held Bucky's hands in his, looking down at them and smiled a little self-deprecatingly. "Um, I'm not really very good at this kind of thing."

Bucky squeezed his hands. "I think you're doing fine."

Steve finally looked up and met Bucky's eyes. "I care about you a lot."

"I'm terrified," Bucky said quietly.

Steve raised his hand and touched Bucky's face, stroking his thumb gently across his cheek. "Me too. Can we be terrified together?"

Bucky smiled, leaning into Steve's touch. It felt so good. "That would be great."

Steve smiled back and leaned up, kissing Bucky softly on the lips. Bucky kissed him back and then Steve's arms were around him, pulling him close. Even though Bucky was taller and broader than him, he felt safe and wanted. A new chapter in his life was beginning; he would never forget Natasha but he had to move on and knew that he wanted to with Steve. They stood and kissed for a long time, both of them finally finding something that they had been searching for for far too long.

***

They lay together on the couch, wrapped up in each others arms and talking softly, occasionally falling silent to kiss. Bucky couldn't help himself - to just be held and kissed again was like nothing else. Steve giggled when Bucky accidentally knocked his glasses askew and spent too long trying to set them straight again.

"I'm way too out of practice with all of this," Bucky said with a grin.

Steve kissed him on the tip of his nose. "Well, I'm more than happy to be practiced on." He held Bucky's hand and looked down when his fingers brushed over his wedding ring.

"Does it bother you that I still wear this?" Bucky asked.

Steve's hand tightened around Bucky's. "Of course it doesn't."

"I just can't bring myself to take if off. It...it means a lot to me."

Steve raised Bucky's hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "I would never ask you to take it off, Buck."

Bucky shifted until he was facing Steve and gently ran his hand through Steve's hair, watching as the strands fell through his fingers. "I never thought I would meet anyone again after Nat..." Bucky swallowed. "I wasn't sure I could even feel something for someone again without being too scared to. That they might get taken away from me. And then I met you and I knew that...that I couldn't let my fear of getting close to someone again let me miss out on something amazing."

Steve pressed his forehead to Bucky's. "You and Clint mean a lot to me. More than you know. I felt so lost before I met the two of you." Bucky pulled Steve closer and Steve rested his head on Bucky's shoulder, sighing happily.

"I'm not too sure how to go about explaining this to Clint," Bucky said. "I mean, I know he'll be happy that you're going to be spending more time with us but I'm not sure if he'll understand...you know."

"Kids are more understanding than you think. I teach at least six kids that have same-sex parents; it's becoming more common now. I think Clint will be fine; maybe the best thing to do is just to tell him."

Bucky nodded. "You're right." Bucky shifted so he was looking down at Steve and smiled dopily at him. "Are you _totally_ sure that you're ready to get involved with the Barnes boys?"

Steve smiled back up at him, happy and bright and beautiful. "I can't think of anything I've ever been more sure of."

***

Like Steve said, Clint was more accepting of the situation than Bucky ever expected him to be. It was a couple of days later and Steve was leaving after having had dinner with the two of them. They walked him to the front door and Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky before heading to his car. They waved until Steve was out of sight and when Bucky closed the front door, Clint was looking at him curiously. Bucky steeled himself and squatted down so he was at eye level with his son.

"Clint, um..." Bucky's face scrunched up in concentration as he tried to figure out what to say.

"Why did Steve kiss you?" Clint asked before Bucky could speak.

"Well, you know how...mommies and daddies kiss?"

Clint nodded.

"It's like that...except with two daddies."

Clint brightened. "Does this mean that Steve will be coming over to play every day?"

Bucky smiled, relieved. "Maybe not _every_ day but most days."

"Will he come and live with us?" Clint asked excitedly.

"It's a bit too early for that but maybe one day." As soon as Bucky said it, he knew he wanted it to happen.

"Will Steve buy me the new Skylanders Battle Pack?"

"Don't push it, buddy."

***

Things moved slowly for them but Bucky wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Steve seemed happy too and they spent most of their time together playing with Clint and taking him on little day trips to the zoo or the aquarium, going on playdates with Sam, eating dinner together or curled up on the couch watching movies (Bucky now knew most of The Brave Little Toaster by heart). Bucky was trying his hardest not to get ahead of himself but they felt like a family. He _wanted_ them to be a family.

And then the summer was over and Clint started First Grade. There were a lot of tears that day, mainly from Bucky, but Clint came home that afternoon full of energy and stories; Sam was in his class and they had already been separated twice for talking too much. Bucky already knew that this friendship was going to involve a lot of mischief and mayhem and he couldn't have been happier.

The best thing about being with Steve was that he didn't push; he was patient and gentle, with Bucky as well as Clint. The rare time alone they had together in the evenings after Clint was in bed, they spent kissing on the couch, neither of them rushing to take anything further. Bucky wanted to, but he still needed time. Steve understood and whenever Bucky felt like he needed to explain, Steve just grinned that little lop-sided grin of his and told Bucky to shut up and kiss him.

They went to visit Bucky's parents in Nova Scotia at Thanksgiving. Bucky was stressed about the upcoming trip; his father had been prickly towards him since finding out that he was in a relationship with another man and his stomach was a constant knot of dread.

The day they flew out, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky from behind as Bucky checked his carry-on bag again and Clint ran around the kitchen table, pulling his new space-shuttle shaped suitcase with him. "It'll be fine," he said and Bucky smiled slightly as he felt Steve raise himself on his toes to plant a kiss behind Bucky's ear. "Some people just need time to accept what might be an unconventional situation for them."

Bucky turned around and sighed, looping his arms around Steve's waist. "I know. I guess I just thought that this wouldn't be a thing. I'm happy, Clint's happy. I was hoping that my parents would just be happy too."

Steve hugged him. "We'll be okay."

While stilted at first, once Bucky's father saw how happy he and Clint were and how good Steve was with his grandson, he softened a little. Bucky's mom loved Steve immediately and he knew that she was trying her best to bring his dad around. Bucky's sister liked Steve too and they arranged a trip to Seattle for the New Year. By the time they left, things still weren't perfect but Bucky's dad hugged him and Clint hard and shook Steve's hand, telling him that he looked forward to seeing him again. Bucky was so proud and even though they had a long way to go, it was a start.

***

Bucky made a decision about a week later. Clint was doing his homework in Bucky's study and Steve was in the kitchen making Clint's lunch for the next day while Bucky absently wrote out a shopping list for the week.

"Clint's going to be sleeping over at Sam's house on Friday," he said as he twirled the pen around in his hand.

Steve grinned. "I know - he told me about a million times. He's really excited." He cut the crusts off of Clint's sandwich.

Bucky cleared his throat. "I thought...we could maybe have a sleepover of our own."

Steve stopped cutting the bread and turned to him, his cheeks slightly pink. "I...yeah, that would be great." He took Bucky's hand. "Are you sure? If you're not ready, I understand."

Bucky pulled Steve close and kissed him. "I want to. I really really want to."

Steve smiled and grasped Bucky's shirt collar. "Then it's a date."

They were interrupted from their next kiss by Clint making exaggerated puking noises from the doorway and he shrieked and ran into the living room when Steve chased him, threatening foot tickles.

***

"Hey, come and have a bath with me," Bucky said. Steve was naked on his bed, still sweaty but smiling sleepily. Bucky couldn't stop smiling back. Date night had been...incredible. Things had been a little nerve-wracking at first, the two of them fumbling and apologetic but then things had finally clicked. It was late and they were both exhausted but Bucky wasn't ready to go to sleep just yet. He ran his hand lightly down Steve's back.

Steve hummed contentedly. "I've never had a bath with anyone before."

Bucky managed to get to his feet, a little light-headed, and pulled Steve up with him, kissing him tenderly and stroking his sides. "Come on."

They soaked together in the tub, Steve leaning with his back against Bucky, head nestled against Bucky's shoulder and they barely spoke, both of them enjoying the warm water and each other.

Bucky woke up the next morning, pressed close to Steve and feeling him breathe as he slept. Everything suddenly overwhelmed him at once and he started to cry; he couldn't help it. He wasn't even sure where the tears were coming from but Steve stirred and turned around, worried. He stroked Bucky's hair.

"Hey, hey. What is it? What's wrong?"

Bucky held onto Steve tightly, burying his face in the crook of Steve's neck. "I don't know. Happy...sad." He knew he wasn't really making any sense but Steve seemed to understand; Bucky was finally letting Natasha go. He held Bucky back and ran his fingers gently through Bucky's hair.

"It's okay, Buck. It's okay. I've got you."

Bucky hoped that Steve would never let him go.

***

Bucky told Steve he loved him during Clint's Christmas play at school. His teacher had made the grave mistake of casting Clint and Sam as a donkey and a cow respectively and they were getting more laughs from the audience than the intended funny parts of the play were. Bucky was watching Steve laugh and he reached over and took his hand. Steve looked at him and smiled wider.

Bucky leaned in and whispered, "I love you."

Steve looked surprised for a moment and then he bit his lip and swallowed hard. "I love you, too," he said back, his voice choked with emotion.

They held hands tightly for the rest of the play.

***

** Ten Years Later. **

"Hi, Mr Barnes," Sam said when Steve answered the front door.

Steve groaned as he stepped aside to let Sam in. "Sam, you've known me forever. It's Steve. _Steve_."

Sam laughed. "Hey, I can't help it if my mom raised me right."

Steve rolled his eyes and smiled. "Clint, Sam's here," he called up the stairs before heading back into the living room.

Bucky waved from the couch. "Hey Sam. Grab a drink from the refrigerator if you want one."

"I'm cool, Mr Barnes. Thanks."

Bucky grimaced. "Yeah, Steve's right. You can cut the Mr Barnes crap. You've pretty much got a free pass to use our first names. Being called "Mr Barnes" makes me feel old."

"That's because you _are_ old," Clint said as he walked into the room, shrugging on his hoodie. "Hey dude," he thumped Sam on the arm and Sam thumped him back. Bucky had never understood why they did that.

"Wow, someone obviously doesn't want a car for his seventeenth birthday," Bucky grunted.

Clint held up his hands. "Joking, Dad! Totally joking. You don't look a day over thirty-nine."

Steve laughed. "Nice save."

Bucky grinned. "So what's the plan?"

"We're meeting Scott and Logan for lazer tag. Probably grab a burger afterwards." Clint sat down and pulled on his sneakers.

"Scott S or Scott L?" Bucky asked.

"Scott L," Sam said. "Scott S is grounded because he got a C in Math."

"Hey Clint, didn't you get a C in Math?" Steve looked at him innocently.

Clint glared. "Scott S's parents are overbearing slave-drivers. You guys are laid back and supportive and everything a teenager could want in his parents."

Steve smiled sweetly at Bucky. "He gets his sarcasm from you."

Bucky stood up. "Okay, okay. Home by ten, please? If you need a ride, I'll be up."

Clint smiled and hugged Bucky. "Will do." He leaned over the back of the couch and kissed Steve on the cheek. "See you tomorrow, Dad."

Steve messed up Clint's hair. "Have fun."

Clint grumbled and try to restyle it as he and Sam headed for the front door.

"Your dads are cool," they heard Sam say as they both stepped outside.

"My dads are _lame_ ," Clint said but he was grinning as he said it and closed the door on Steve and Bucky's indignant protests.

Bucky flopped back onto the couch with a groan. "How the hell is he going to be seventeen next week? When was this a thing that was going to happen?"

Bucky and Steve had gotten married when Clint was eight, but he had been calling Steve "dad" for a long while before that.

Steve sighed and threw an arm across Bucky's shoulder. "I know. It's been tough but he's a good kid. I think he's on the right track again."

Bucky hummed in response; Clint had gone through a bad patch when he was fifteen, getting mixed up with the wrong kids at school and making life hell for himself and the two of them. Things had finally come to a head when he been arrested for breaking into a sporting goods store, his "friends" having run off and leaving him to face the consequences on his own. Bucky had felt sick to his stomach as he and Steve had driven to the police station, imagining all kinds of juvenile detention scenarios, Steve muttering the whole way about how he was going to kill Clint when he saw him. However, when they reached the police station, Clint was a blubbering apologetic mess, scared to death and pleading forgiveness and promises to change and Bucky had known that he was sincere. No charges were pressed against him and he made good on his word, working his ass off in school and making amends with Sam, their friendship having been fractured by Clint's time off the rails. It had broken Bucky's heart when they had stopped being best friends; he had watched them grow up together and Sam was a great kid. But they had fixed things and Clint had done his best to prove to his dads that he was sorry. Steve had still grounded him for six months.

Bucky snuggled against Steve. "Yeah, he's getting there."

Steve kissed Bucky on the temple and then chuckled softly as he pulled away.

"What?" Bucky asked.

"Getting kind of grey there, Mr Barnes."

Bucky elbowed Steve in the side and frowned. "Gee, thanks. I bet you've got a ton of grey hairs, only yours don't show up." He ruffled Steve's blond hair.

"I'm going to remain forever young," Steve said with a giggle and threw his lesson planner on the floor, turning and pushing Bucky down onto the couch, pinning him with that strength that never failed to surprise him. "Besides, I didn't say that I didn't _like_ your hair. I've always wanted a silver fox."

"Ew! Never call me that again," Bucky was smiling though and leaned up to kiss Steve. "What time is it?"

Steve turned to look at his phone charging next to him on the armrest of the couch. "Just after seven."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "We have the house to ourselves until ten. Want to fool around?"

Steve grinned and kissed Bucky on the jaw. "Time to fool around _and_ take a bath maybe?"

They raced upstairs, laughing and holding hands.

 

 


End file.
